Challenge II, D15: Running in the Rain

Source: hitthetrails.wordpress.com via Amy on Pinterest

This morning when my alarm chirped at 4:45 am, I sighed from the depths of my soul.

I've actually been doing pretty well lately-- I think maybe my body has finally adjusted to the earlier wake-up hour-- but this morning I wasn't sure I had anything left to give. Like I told you yesterday, it's been a good week over all... but the "ebbs" have been exhausting to me. ... I feel the mystical creative pull and I can't bear to wait for it to come to fruition. I cannot allow my spirit to rest; every fiber of my being is continually reaching forward... It's been a great creative time-- but an exhausting one.

I was up late writing last night... and then when I got in bed I was too worked up to get to sleep right away. So I lay awake dreaming. I stared at the ceiling and listened to the rain pattering softly on the the skylight in our adjacent master bath, smiling as Baron shifted his warm weight, purring at my feet. And thus it was until I finally drifted off at some unknown hour.

...So this morning it was awfully hard to will myself awake. By the grace of God I made it out of bed & into my running clothes. As I waited for my garmin to load it's satelites, I joined Gracie with my nose pressed to the sidelights of our front door. Peering out into the cold damp darkness. ...Wondering what the morning's miles would hold for me.

Heather and I began running at 5:15. At approximately 5:16 it began to rain. With the wind in our faces, we bent our heads and pushed forward. We were shivering and wet... but determined. As we moved swiftly through the darkness, we discussed our usual gamut of topics: from running (surprise!) to our weekend plans, to our jobs and some future dreams. Sometimes we didn't talk, we just moved forward, quietly supporting and simultaneously drawing strength from the other.

Our 5 mile split was more than a minute better than yesterday's. It seems that the coolness of the rain breathed new life into our legs.

It wasn't until I was back at home & immersed in my typical post-run morning routine: peeling off my wet socks and scooping ground coffee into the coffee maker; sneaking upstairs to kiss my sleeping husband and before hopping into a hot shower.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and paused, wondering.... "Who is this woman?"

I am a work in progress. I am far from perfect, but each day I'm getting a little wiser... stronger... better.

6 months ago, I wouldn't have dreamed this was possible. I've always wanted to make the change, but the first step seemed too much. But here I am. I do, in fact, posses the necessary courage, strength & passion to make the change.
...and to run a marathon.



♥ October 16, 2011 ♥

Challenge II, D11: Wrangling {Goals}

It's been a week of transition. And it's obvious to me that (a) Mother Nature thinks so, too and (b) Mother Nature (like me!) is stubborn & does not always deal well with change. This week we have been blessed with cooler weather, but also a lot of gray and rainy skies.

Honestly? I don't mind too much. I love crisp gray fall days, when you can smell the chill in the air and the trees are vibrant against a dark sky. Also, this is perfect weather for hot tea, cozy blankets, pillar candles, kitty snuggling and sweatshirts.

Not bad at all, in my opinion :)

And now here we are, teetering on the cusp of another weekend. I love holiday weekends, and the way the following week seems to fly by afterwards (you know, which is only fair, as the week preceding a holiday always seems to creep by ;) It's been (as always) a good & busy week for us. ...One which I will attempt wrangle into submission via stories, pictures & memories.

{Wrangling}

(A weekly round up. Each week I am going to “wrangle” my life's happenings into a post filled with pictures, lists & general tidbits about the past 7 days.)

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Our CA trip is coming.... Soon!

Exactly 10 days from now I will be in Northern California with the love of my life, on a trip of a lifetime. And so tonight I celebrated with a glass of wine. (Duh.)

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Just to keep it real here: I like to be as positive as I can be (in real life & on the blog), but I am most definitely a normal human being. Frustrating & annoying things happen to me all the time.

For example: Here's my Tuesday...

(I am pleased to report that I was not, in fact, harboring a stowaway mosquito...)

And then this morning I missed my mouth & poured piping hot coffee down my cleavage. (I couldn't make this stuff up.) Trying to figure out how to discretely stuff tissues in my shirt to mop it up was, in a word, tricky.

As part of my "woman of grace" initiative, I am working to bounce back quickly in these situations; to smile & move on....One day at a time...

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Marathon Training Update:

It's been a rather mellow running week, apart from the race on Sunday. Which has been nice for two reasons :)

First off, I did just run a race on Sunday. An awesome, empowering, exhausting race. I needed some recovery miles after that, for sure.

And secondly, I *gulp* am running 20 miles on Saturday morning. ...Which, needless to say, will blast my weekly mileage well above what it's been before.

I am actually quite nervous about Saturday's 20. Realistically, I know that it's just 2 miles more than the last long run I did. ... But 20 miles sounds incredible long ;) Nerves or no... I know I can do it, and I'm looking forward to reporting back to you later.

As a further update, I was able to identify & set some marathon goals for myself this week, and I'd like to share them with you. I take no credit for the a,b,c tier system, but I think the idea is a fabulous one! Here are my goals for my very 1st marathon:

A: (My feel good, I can't believe I did this goal): Finish the race (upright) with a smile on my face.
B: (My "you go, girl... you surpassed your own expectations' goal) Finish the race in 5:25.
C: (My "Holy *bleep*, NO WAY, THAT'S AWESOME!!!" goal) Finish the race in 5:20.

(Please note: I would prefer to be smiling & upright in *ALL* scenarios!)

Stay tuned to see how it all unfolds :)

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... Speaking of goals, I was having a good time looking through my old posts the other day (tell me I'm not the only one who does this...) and I stumbled upon my "28 Things by Age 28" list. Just for fun, I decided to give a little update (I am about 1/2 way through my 5 year time frame, after all!)


Amy's 28 by 28 (original post here ):

• Visit Carlisle, PA with J. Completed June, 2010.
• Go to San Francisco with J. To be completed September, 2011.
• Go to Boston
• Go to an all-inclusive Sandals Resort with J (perhaps for our 5th Anniversary?)
• Run a marathon To be completed October 16, 2011.
• Write out a life plan and start making it happen. An ever evolving process. See below...
• I'd really like to attend a Healthy Living Summit one of these years :)
• Buy a house with J Completed April 1, 2010.
• Have a baby
• Help out with a Chrysalis Flight
• Host a holiday dinner for my family - I DID host the 4th of July celebration this year, but that wasn't really what I had in mind... I plan to check this one off the list in December, 2011.
• See my all-time favorite band (AC/DC) in concert.
• Do a TTD/ Fearless Bridal portrait session with Kelly.
• Go hiking in the Rocky Mountains
• Go back to Gatlinburg with J.
• Start playing guitar again.
• Get involved with a "young adult" bible study. A real one :) I will be participating in a 10 week study entitled "4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice"... starting next Monday!
• Run an 8 minute mile. Oy.
• Run a sub-2 hour half marathon.... Oy vey
• Visit the Napa and Sonoma Valleys-- Tour lots of wineries! To be completed September, 2011.
• Go to a Country Music Concert :) Completed August, 2010
• Go on a roadtrip with J. (This is something he's always wanted to do-- I think it would be fun to go with him!)
• Go to Europe.
• Keep a garden. Sigh. Currently, I feel like an 8 minute mile is more attainable... but I'd like to keep it on the list of goals!
• Learn to fold a fitted sheet Check & mark!
• Bake a cake from scratch Yup. I've made vanilla cupcakes & bohemian wedding cake (a la Jenna at Eat, Live, Run)-- can't wait to make the wedding cake again soon ... it's a pumpkin-y fall treat!
• Go see "The Nutcracker" downtown at Christmastime Maybe this Christmas? I'm actually (please don't kill me!) really looking forward to Christmas all ready. Going to do a lot of things differently this year ♥
• See a Broadway Show

As I was looking through the list, I was really awestruck by the phenomena of shifting priorities... As we grow into the people we were meant to be, it makes perfect sense that our priorities change. And that is in no way a sad thing. It is a good thing. Who am I to think that I can plan all the little details?! (And how painfully boring my life might be if I could!)

I am excited to look back on this list again when I turn 28. To see how much I have accomplished ... but also to reflect on all the things that have been accomplished that I never dreamed of when I developed the list. I created this list 2 years ago, and all ready, some of these items aren't as important to me.

It's a beautiful thing... this crazy life of ours ♥

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"I love this day."

I've been seeing this phrase popping up everywhere this week, and I like to think perhaps the universe it trying to tell me something.

"I love this day, indeed."

Have a wonderful Thursday night, friends :) I'll see you back here tomorrow for another "Good Friday"!

Keeping promises to myself ...

I finally pressed the buttons:

Crazy nervous & excited right now. ...Definitely regretting my 2nd cup of coffee :)

...More soon!

Wrangling: {Rain & Red Wine}

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(A weekly round up. Each Wednesday I am going to “wrangle” the past weeks’ happenings into a post filled with pictures, lists & general tidbits about the past 7 days.)

Whew. I cannot believe that it’s Wednesday all ready. We’re getting to the part of the year where things are starting to pick up a little bit, with increased church activities, family birthdays, and just general “holy goodness it’s so delicious outside I want to spend every spare minute out there ...”

..Er... I may have to rethink that last part. For the past couple days it has been doing a whole lot of 40 degree temps & raining. Yick. But the weekend and Monday were absolutely lovely. It’s that enchanting in-between time that only comes once a year, right before the 'spring forward' time change, when the sun starts to rise early again after a long dark winter. I’ve got to say, doing my devotions as the first rays of sun gently usher in the morning adds new sparkle to the tradition.

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Spring? Bring. It. On.

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This weekend was an especially nice one, filled with leisurely french toast brunches, serious life altering & encouraging discussions, and heart moving worship. Saturday morning Jon & I lingered together over cups of coffee, discussing our future... our 10 year plan (& actually 50 year plan!) for our family. Our main focus was budgeting (taking cue from this lovely lady & her husband), but we talked about other important things too, including babies (not yet, but we're both really excited for the ‘someday’ :) and Vegas (Fall, 2011. … no details yet... just a basic idea in the works... but I’ll fill you in later as plans unfold!)

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On dreams:

I’ve got a dream to share with you. I’ve been sitting on it for a little while, but … ‘year of honesty’, people... And this is super honest, a glimpse straight into my heart. I wrote this a couple months ago, when I discovered the Lululemon Goaltender tool. (Quick side note: I do not, in fact, own anything ‘lulu’.... but I experience serious clothes lust for it. They just put a store in at Easton mall... so chances of me owning some killer crop pants someday have gone up exponentially :) Anyway, this tool allowed me to focus in on and put on paper some of my deepest, sweetest dreams. You would think that as a writer, this stuff would have been poured out in volumes all ready... but my deepest dreams, the ones I long for the most, have remained quiet, barely dared to be spoken. But this is a year for taking chances, I believe that is some magic in voicing these dreams ...that this is the first step toward me seeing those dreams come to fruition.

So here you go. My prompt was, “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”

"10 years from now I will have two little boys with blond curly heads. I love my job. It's a perfect fit for me, allowing me to be creative & providing a comfortable salary for our family. My days at home are beautiful chaos: soaking up every spare second with my boys, and writing as I can, sometimes well into the night. I have finally fallen in love with running, and I wake every morning at 4:45 to hit the streets. I just run for me. I return home every morning while the house is still quiet make myself a cup of coffee and sit down with my spiral notebook and devotions. I treasure those quiet moments every morning. Jon and I are into our 12th year of marriage, and, true to the cliche, every day I love him more. I love the time we get to spend together every evening after our boys are in bed. I love snuggling in bed with him on Saturday morning, as wait in quiet anticipation for the boys to wake. I love the way he kisses me goodbye every morning. I love watching him love my sons and teach them about life."

Honestly, as soon as I c&p’d this into the blog, my mind immediately jumped to writing a ‘Disclaimer ‘paragraph to follow. But you know what? These are my dreams. They reserve the right to go uncensored, undiluted and unabridged.

And with that, I’m kind of written out for the night. But I’ll leave you with a good list, for good measure ;)

Good List

1. Jon, my wonderful husband. I am so excited for our life together. Enjoying it as it unfolds, one chapter at a time.
2. My sister April & her sweet baby girl (ETA: 4/2011) are healthy. Thank you, God :)
3. Breathtaking, word-painting posts from one of my favorite bloggers
4. Red wine
5. From my i*Google homepage today: “We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.” -- Frank Tibolt
… Amen.
6. ‘Chasing down the dream....’ How sweet it is!
7. I would be a terrible friend if I didn’t send you here, to a recipe for some of the best (easy, yummy & healthy to boot!) cookies I’ve ever made....
8. Laughing until tears roll down my cheeks
9. Spiral notebooks
10. The soft, clean scent of spring rain

Your Turn:
How is your week going so far, friends?
Do you have a 10 year dream?

2011

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Odd numbers (or perhaps I should say, more correctly, "odd integers") have always fascinated me. If I'm asked to pick a number between 1 and 10, it will always be 3, 7 or 9. Always.

I think part of the reason why I love odd numbers is because they have such individuality to them. You cannot divide an odd number in half without obtaining a decimal answer-- it cannot be wholly divided and it retains parts of the original. And I think that's cool. It follows a basic truth that I have always believed about myself, so innately that I take it for granted most of the time: no matter where I am, what I'm doing, or what outside forces are acting on me to pull me in different directions, I am me. Unique and indivisible.

And all this goes to say, I'm pretty darn excited for 2011.

While I cannot begin to predict where all I'll be going this year (and, you know, part of me doesn't even want to try... aren't some of the best stories rooted in surprises and plans that did not work out exactly as projected?) there are a couple business items I would like to address, which will give you a general sense of direction for the next year.

For a long time now, I have been struggling with the idea of "finding my voice"-- which, when you boil it down, means finding what I'm really good at and doing it consistently. Finding my niche as a writer.

But you know... that's an awfully hard thing to do. And while I've been silent for the past month, I've been mulling this over and over and over. Searching the depths of my heart and soul to find the passion... to find the me that has been lurking below the surface this past year + of blogging, just waiting for her moment to shine.

And you know what? I think I've found her.

I won't go slapping a "label" on myself just yet (i.e.: this is a "blah blah" blog) ... although I have absolutely no qualms about saying, big picture, that this is a healthy living blog ... because I believe that healthy living is, above & beyond all else, about loving yourself and embracing all the possibilities of you-- truly living every moment. (...and that treating yourself right with exercise and nourishing, mouth-watering entrees is just the icing & sprinkles! on the cake.)

But, labeled or not, I do have some promises for you. Promises that will forge a new path for the coming year, and help to define "Amy Around the Corner" a little bit more.

Without further ado, I present to you:

My Blogger's Manifesto

• I promise not to write just for the sake of writing, or to get up a certain number of posts per week. I promise you quality, and that everything I press publish on will be something I am proud of.
• With that said, though, I promise you at least 2 posts per week.
• I promise you honesty. I will not be a tease & say things like "I've been worried about some things" and then not tell you what. In my next post I will tell you exactly what I've been dealing with this past month... and how it played out. Writing honestly means that not every post is going to be dripping with sunshine & butterflies (although, in the spirit of honesty, I admit to you that I am an optimist.... so there will be a decent amount of sunshine) -- I am going to write about things that I struggle with, because I believe that somewhere out there, someone else has dealt with the same thing.
• I promise you pictures :) I do not promise you LOTS of pictures, or gallery quality pictures. But I will give (& take, hehe) more pictures this year.
• And finally, I promise you that the good lists will keep on coming :) Creating them is such a treasured ritual to me... and I think that they are becoming an integral part of my voice here. I love to share them with you. The lists speak from my heart; sometimes more eloquently than any essay ever could.

Won't you join me on this new journey in the new year? I'm thinking 2011 is going to be pretty wonderful :)

(Hello, bloggies! I've missed you!)

One Track Mind

All right, friends. I had every intention of either (a) giving you the 'hometown tour' today or (b) delving into some heavier, personal stuff with a post about patience and faith. However, my plans were thwarted by grey skies threatening rain and a singular lack of energy (it's takes serious energy to write deep posts, you know?)

Today I am exhausted, and all I can think about is one thing: crawling back into bed. That is the one and only track on which my brain will function: a means to an end-- with the end being, of course, Amy snuggled under the down comforter. (With a good book--which may not get read, but it's a delicious idea!-- and my snuggly kitties, of course :) And while in other aspects of my Monday, my lack of focus has proved to be rather problematic-- in this case it has provided me inspiration.

From the time was are old enough to put ourselves to bed, our bedrooms are a place of creativity, renewal and comfort. Because J & I just moved into our house in April, I have been thinking a lot about our bedroom, and how I can make it into a getaway of sorts; a place of rest and peace. Since we moved rather soon after we got married and moved in together (I should point out that when I say "moved in together" I mean I moved in to J's apartment ... which makes a difference in this context:) I was still experimenting with color and design, working to make the place ours.

When J moved out on his own several years earlier, he bought furniture and bedding that reflected his style-- which is very clean & modern -- think: black leather sofa, black-painted iron & glass coffee table, and sheets& comforter in varying shades of gray. -- Which, don't get me wrong-- it looked fantastic. But it was not Amy-style -- and I struggled a little, in the first 6 months of our marriage, with feeling that it was still his place, and I was just living there.

Which all goes to say-- in moving to a new house (and, therefore, new bedroom) I had a chance to make over the room into somewhere I loved, and wanted to spend time in. I put a bookshelf in the bedroom, I bought a new comforter, I hung art, and I brought in the candles.

And now I can say, without hesitation: yes, this is a place where my heart feels safe. This is my haven.

Which is not to say that it is completely finished. This is my "inspiration board" (some of which you will recognize as a reality-- the rest I'll be piecing in, little by little. i.e.: I am so lusting after that cable knit blanket, I saw one in the store and it was the softest thing! ... For now I'm waiting--and hoping-- for it to go on sale :)

All photo credits to potterybarn.com, except Cherry wood sleigh bed, credit: thefurniture.com

And now it's your turn (and I am so excited to hear from you!): What does your dream bedroom look like? What color is it? What is on the walls? Any other defining features?

Quick "Hello"

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Why, hello, little blog (& lovely bloggies!) I've missed you this week!

It's been good but crazy over here (read: this week has been wearing me into the ground... thank goodness we're coming up on a 3-day Labor Day weekend!!)... so tonight's post is going to be a quick one... but I'll be back tomorrow with some more for you-- including pictures (I will tell you this... I miss the 21 day challenge... I am definitely going to look for excuses to take pictures every day & post them... I miss blogging every day, too... I'm back on schedule as of tonight :)

But, even a quick post can be meaningful if it includes good stuff :

Good List:

1. J. Every once in a while I am reminded that my husband may be my biggest fan... and, to me, that is everything. It meant so much to me to have him at the finish line of Sunday's race-- cheering me on, and catching up with me at the end. It lightened my step to know that he'd be there ...

2. Happy September! Bring it on, fall... bring it on :)

3. J & I went on a double date last night, with some really good friends, who we haven't seen in way too long. We laughed and told stories for hours!

4. Pumpkin Spice.... Oh. Yes. Please. I've all ready gotten out the "sweet cinnamon pumpkin" candles-- and I'm looking forward to a pumpkin spice latte tomorrow morning :)

5. I FINISHED PAINTING!!! (Ahhhhh! ...and the angels sang :)

6. Snuggly kitties (named Gracie) , who prance around on your chest in the middle of the night before finally curling up on your shoulder.

7. It's football season again! GO BUCKS! (I have more thoughts on this -- I'll share with you tomorrow :)

8. It's also race season... I have something going every single weekend this month... and I'm so excited (again... will fill you in later...)

9. Family. Celebrating joyous blessings together, praying & dreaming together, and realizing how lucky we truly are to have each other.

10. "Autumn is a second spring where every leaf is a flower." - Albert Camus

Have a fantastic Thursday night, friends :)

Spirit of Columbus 1/2 Marathon Recap

Hello, hello -- and happy Monday :)

I was trying to "save" this post until I had an official time to post for you (and, loyal blogger that I am, I have been checking the website all day ...) but, as of the time that this post 'hit the presses', results have not been posted. Suffice it to say, I was not "removed from the course", and my garmin (which, being caught up in the moment, I started late and stopped late) reads 2:57:46.

So... let's jump right in, shall we?

As a general rule, I never sleep well before races-- which, I believe, is probably caused by the overwhelming mix of nervousness & excitement that sets in the eve of "race day". Still, I did okay -- bouncing out of bed at 5:00 5:30am, bright eyed, bushy tailed, and ready to run.

Err... Right. Actually I was just really grateful that I had the foresight to set the programmable coffee maker the night before. 1 cup of coffee later (which I apparently did not consume quickly enough, as I carefully poured myself 1/2 a mug-full of creamer, and almost peanut-buttered Gracie, who had her nose in the wrong place at the wrong time... Gahh.. I couldn't make this stuff up, bloggies)-- things were looking up :)

Or, rather, down. These new socks were a joyful addition to my race day attire :) Fun socks are like fun underwear (sorry, Dad)-- no one but you knows that you are wearing them, but they make you feel a little extra special all day long :)

Breakfast was consumed (PB+J on toast .... and another splash of coffee), J was awakened... and we were on our way. (... after one dead car battery... which was handled with grace & minimal panic on both of our parts. Really, it was a blessing, as J's car does not have working air conditioning, and it was awfully nice to blast the air on the way home... but I'm getting ahead of myself :)

We arrived at the start line a little after 7am, and met up with my parents, who had come to wish me luck (my father also took on the duty of my personal paparazzi-- the next couple photos are credited to him!)

Then, since we had some time to spare, (and.. well, nerves, you know?) I decided I'd use the bathroom one final time ... which turned out to be a pivotal point for the entire race for me.

Now, lest you think I am going to launch into a diatribe about the evils of coffee (NEVER!) and how drinking a cup of coffee before the race was a mistake (which it wasn't, thank heavens :) -- I'll tell you standing in line for the porta-potties was a good thing not only for the obvious reasons-- but, even more so, for the woman I met while I was waiting.

(me & A. in the blue hat)

I can't remember who started the conversation-- and really, it doesn't matter-- the important thing is that I met her. We made a little small talk; I found out that this was her 1st half marathon, and inquired whether she had a specific goal. She told me that she was aiming for 12:30 splits. In a burst of uncharacteristic bravery (which, perhaps I can attribute to my mother's presence -- she's always been able to talk to anyone), I asked her if I could run with her for the first couple miles (my thinking being that if I could give myself a little cushion in the first few miles, I would be less likely to be eh-hem "booted from the course" later.)

And just like that, a friendship was forged.

I have to say... although I've always aspired to be a faster runner (remember my goals for a sub-8 minute mile, a 24 minute 5k, and a sub-2 hour half?!), being in the mid-back of the pack has blessed me immeasurably. I've found (and I wonder if it's like this at the front of the pack too... I just honestly have no experience :) that when you are not as focused on beating your neighbor to the finish, you have time to cheer them on. And that's incredibly wonderful.

I was able to stay with A. for 5 (!) miles-- and I am incredibly proud of that. We cheered each other on for over an hour-- sharing stories, goals, and encouragement. I didn't get a chance to meet up with her at the end, but J told me that he saw her cross the finish line. It was truly an honor for me to be able to run with her during her 1st half marathon. I only hope that I was able to be good company for her as well-- and that she might have an idea of what a difference she made for me yesterday.

Of course, after A. and I separated at mile 5, it was a bit of a struggle. It didn't help that the last 6 miles were a straight shot down S.R. 33 into the city (read: no shade)... and by the time I hit mile 10, I was hurting a little. But it was still good. Every step was a blessing. I chatted with the other women who were racing around me, I waved at the police men who were directing traffic around the racers, I yelled thank-you's to the volunteers, and (because I was one of the last participants in) I took 2 cups of water at each water station :) It was hot (HOT), and it was hard (and I have the aches and blisters today to prove it), but I am so glad that I did it :)

I actually beat my goal time (3:15 ish.... 15 min/mile)-- but J made it to the finish to watch me cross, and that meant a lot to me :) We drove home (in the air conditioned car-- hallelujah!), and I lay on the floor and contemplated the meaning of life for a while with Gracie (ughhh.... I'm not sure what the deal was... apparently I didn't fuel quite right and my salt/water/food ratios were off... I felt like I had the worst hangover EVER... poor Gracie didn't know what was wrong with her Mama, and hovered close by to keep an eye on me), before I showered and ate a mac & cheese recovery lunch :)

And today? Well, quite frankly, I had forgotten how much this stuff hurts :) My back and my ribs hurt, I have a blister between my toes, and I'm walking like a little old lady... but I'm happy, and I'm really proud to add this race to my list of races & life experiences.

What's next? A sub-2? An all walking half? A marathon? I have no clue. But I promise to keep you posted...

For now though, this tired girl is peeling herself off the couch and headed to bed...

Have a fantastic Monday night ;)

What is one of your proudest accomplishments?

Challenge Day #19 (continued)

Gah. All right... apologies for the broken up posting ... I'm having some blog issues today ... my "save now" button is doing all sorts of wacky things... {Hehe... J would probably ask me (lovingly, of course) if I was experiencing an "ID-10-T" error...} Anyhoo..

So since I've all ready given you the scoop on Sunday's 1/2 (the final thing I will say about it is this: I ate a banana yesterday, in preparation for the race. You may remember when I told you I don't like bananas. Well... I can report to you that nothing has changed on that front. That's dedication, friends... :)-- now I am free to tell you about the rest of my week (because it really wasn't all together consumed with nerves about this weekend's race!) ... And the week has been (as a whole) a good one.

Of course, we had a few "eyebrow-raising" moments (as you might ascertain, "eyebrow raising moments" are significantly better than "hair-raising moments" ...eeep!), which included a limping Gracie (she was probably more embarrassed than anything-- she's fine now!), a leak under the kitchen sink (gahhh), and racing outside in the wee hours of the morning to drag our trash to the curb (... as the trash truck pulled up next door. ...Our trash is usually picked up well after we leave in the morning, so this was quite the surprise :-/...) Actually, overall, this picture pretty much sums up my week (I shall count this as the photo for challenge Day#19):

Yup, it's been a 'fuzzy until I get my 2 cups of coffee kind of week. Whew, I'm tired ;)

But, as usual, the good came right along with it. My good surprise of the week came on Tuesday evening, when J and I were discussing our upcoming 1st Anniversary (I still can't believe it's almost been a year all ready...) This year for our anniversary, we're going to do a little "weekend getaway" at a State Park, and we're really excited about it :) I asked (jokingly, as I was relatively certain we had discussed it before, and decided "no"...) whether we were getting each other presents for our anniversary-- and imagine my surprise when J told me he had all ready gotten me something! After I picked myself up off the floor (don't get me wrong, I know, without a doubt, that my husband loves me ... but this gesture & planning ahead really surprised me!), it hit me: Hm... now I've got to think up something to get him (I had planned a couple cute little things... but that was before we mentioned the p-word presents...)

If anyone has cool 1st Anniversary gift ideas, I'm all ears! Do tell :)


Aaaand, that pretty much sums up the week. There's some good stuff (in addition to Sunday's race excitement) coming up this weekend, but I'll tell you more about that when we get there!

And now, a LIST for you!


Good List:

1. J. I love that even after 8+ years of knowing each other, the man can still surprise me :)

2. Chunky turquoise jewelry, that effortlessly moves from summer staple to fall staple.

3. New OPI nail polish. Ah, LoVe!

4. Swag Bags.

5. Silly Kitties. (You MUST watch this! I laughed until I cried ... and then? I watched it again :)
6. Crisp mornings. It was in the 60's this a.m. Positively delicious!

7. Coffee ...

8. September is coming-- and with it, so much promise! (i.e., 1st Anniversary Getaway, Races every weekend, Labor Day holiday...)

9. Apple Picking. One (unexpected) positive aspect of having such a hot summer is that the apples are ripening earlier this year. This weekend is the first U-Pick-'em weekend of the Fall, and I am so excited. (I am absolutely, unapologetically in LoVe with and ready for Fall.)

10. "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

And with that, I'm off to get a couple things done before I can really start my weekend :) Do you have any fun plans for your Saturday & Sunday? What tops your Good List for the week?

Live Big

For my Grandpa.

Reading with Grandpa (Clearly, I am the small, bald one.)

I feel incredibly blessed to be able to say that I've had many strong, wonderful influences in my life. Through the years, these people have encouraged me, inspired me, and brought to the surface the most authentic , if most hidden pieces of my soul. Who I am, and perhaps more importantly, who I am becoming, would not be possible without them.

So with this in mind, I’d like to tell you about one of the special ones; a man who has left an indelible hand print on my heart: my grandfather.

When my sister and I were growing up, our grandparents lived in Carlisle, PA. It was always such a treat to go and visit them, to spend time with Grandma and Grandpa. They lived in a large, beautiful old house, and Laurie and I spent our summers devouring books on the wrap around porch. Christmases were spent in Carlisle as well, and the large house was filled with joyful laughter and warm, sweet christmas-y smells. My formative years were spent surrounded by the love of family in that house, and in my heart I still consider it home.

Grandpa was blessed with 6 granddaughters, and he loved each of us with all he was. He recognized our unique talents, and had special ways of showing each of us his love. When we got to spend time with Grandpa, we knew we were the center of his world. He was quick to brag to his friends about all the things we were doing, though we rolled our eyes and blushed outwardly, on the inside we were glowing.

Some of my favorite memories are from when he would take me with him on one of his “downtown trips” -- usually to the bank or the post office. Carlisle is a small college town (it houses Dickinson College), and “our house” was across the street from the college—which meant we had the luxury of walking pretty much everywhere. It was such an honor to be asked by Grandpa to run errands with him, and I remember holding his hand and chattering excitedly to him about everything when I was small (i.e.: we had a particularly memorable conversation when I was about 5, when I tried to convince him I had another sister, whom he had never met ...) We would take joy in everything we saw—new buds on the trees, a shiny penny on the sidewalk, colorful bugs(!), the sunshine breaking through the clouds… As I got older our walks were not so much filled with conversation, but a comfortable silence, and I believe, still the mutual wonder and awe at all that surrounded us (and I still held his hand as we crossed the street.)

My Grandpa was older (we celebrated his 90^th birthday on December 25, 2003), but I always took it for granted that he’d be around forever. He was just filled with life-- he enjoyed taking his neighbors out to dinner, attending family reunions (his signature 'pot luck' dish was a bag of Oreos!), and singing bass for the church choir. It was a big inconvenience for him when he had to start walking around town with a cane. Nevertheless, when he got sick in the fall of 2004, life went quickly... He was gone by Christmas, dying just short of his 91^st birthday.

How can you fully describe the pain of loss? (Really -- I'm still at a loss…) I think perhaps I felt as if a part of me had died too. I felt like my world was falling apart, and that, effectively, this was the end of my childhood. I had just finished up with the first semester exams of my freshman year, and it felt to me like time had stopped. All I could think about was how I would give anything just to tell him “I love you” one more time. I just shut down, and effectively “numbed off”, I kept everything inside and tried to maintain a strong exterior, when inside my heart was breaking.

I really didn’t even want to go to the funeral. I was completely broken and poured out, and I didn’t think I had the strength to give any more. Visiting hours were some of the most beautiful and painful moments I’ve ever experienced, as I got to laugh and pray ( and cry, there was surely no shortage of tears) with all the people who gathered to remember him. It was a celebration of a long a full life, lived out by a man who loved God with all he was, faithful up until the very last moments. My mother told me later (I remember we were driving together, and I was trying to focus on the road through my tears) that he wasn’t afraid. His faith was so strong, and he realized that even as his earthly body failed, his soul was strong and complete, and he was ready to go home.

It’s been years now, and my heart still aches for him sometimes. It’s funny, because sometimes the smallest things can awaken the deepest parts of my heart that I’ve convinced myself have been effectively hidden away. James Herriot, NPR, and long walks are just a few of the things that bring me close to Grandpa again. Most of all though, it hurts when I realize there was so much more I wanted to learn from him, as I really look to his life as one of my most powerful examples.

However, as I move beyond the hurt, I am left with so many beautiful memories. I am still amazed at the brilliance of the details that come back to me when I close my eyes-- these memories can still take my breath away. Grandpa gave me so many lasting things! He inspired me to obtain an engineering degree, instilled in me a love of math (except word problems.. y'all know how I feel about word problems…), and whenever I go for a run, I feel closer to him. He is a continual inspiration for me to strengthen my faith, and, perhaps most important to me: Grandpa is a prime example of someone leading out a faithful life in service.

~ ~ ~

As I sit here tonight, I allow my mind to wander-- and inevitably, it comes down to identity. And I think about who I am. .. I know that in a majority of my posts my heart has been crying out (...and not at all subtly, so I'm sure you've gotten the message), "I'm waiting to 'find myself'... I'm here and I'm waiting. I don't know what I am meant to do, but I trust things will fall into place..." And, while I am still very much there -- I find that in writing this, an undeniable truth has emerged:

I know who I want to be. ... And, like my Grandpa, I want to live a big life.

I want to be a quiet but steadfast force for good in the world. I want to be able to go to sleep at night knowing I have given my all: every. single. day. I want to invest in the future through my children and grandchildren, and above all-- I want to touch people's lives by being an example of love in the world-- really respecting and valuing each person in their individuality. And this, friends, is what it means to live a 'big life'.

This I know. ...And tonight? Tonight it is enough. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, and I surely don't know what move to make next (I do know, however, without a doubt, I do need to move ... I need to be vague about this for now, but I'll fill you in as I'm able :) but I know what I ultimately want, and that's surely a good start.

So, in closing, I thank you, Grandpa, for so many things. I thank you for your patience, for your wisdom, and most certainly I thank you for your love. I am so thankful to have known you, as you blessed my life in ways that I am only beginning to understand. I love you.

Taking care of business

Hi friends, Happy Wednesday!

I hope most all of you are reveling in the loveliness of this short 'holiday week', as I am (... although... and please tell me I'm not alone in this: I'm so thankful for my 4-day work week.... but these 4 days sure are dragging on... Why does this happen?!) -- and that you have lots of warm, happy memories of time spent with family and friends from this past weekend.

All right, bloggies, here's the deal: I have an absolutely fabulous post racing around in this little noggin' of mine... and, as much as I love (oh, and I do LOVE) the 'Good Lists'... I feel like this post deserves to stand on it's own. (You'll see what I mean, I promise!)

Actually, this week has been (thank you, sweet heaven) a really happy and good week so far-- which means I have lots to talk about all across the board ... so expect several rapid succession posts over the next few days (... and by rapid succession ... I mean rapid for me. Look for posts on W, R and F !)

Anyhoo (when I deviate from the topic at hand like this I like to tell myself that this 'delightful, stream-of-consciousness' style is something ya'll love about me... right? I promise I do always have a point...), with this in mind, I am going to keep this short and sweet-- and I'll get right down to business. Because, really, the good stuff is always the point.

Good List

1. J. We've both been rather tired lately, so we've made it a priority to keep things low-key and to be really gentle with each other. It has been wonderful, and I love these moments of growth, even when it seems like it's the 'mundane everyday stuff'.

2. Decaf coffee. I am attempting to stop drinking coffee (eeek-- I KNOW! Will discuss later this week...), and this is helping to comfort me as I 'make the break'. I truly think this makes it easier than going 'cold turkey' all at once.

3. The sweet, warm 'kitty smell' of Gracie when I kiss her and nuzzle her neck.

4. Girls' nights. Laurie, Bethany and I went out on Monday night to see Sex and the City 2 (which I really loved! Personally, I liked it even better than the 1st movie.) J and I laugh together a lot... but there is a part of my soul that just craves that one-of-a-kind shrieking, girly laughter. Girlfriends are absolute necessities.

5. Birthday cupcakes: vibrant frosting and moist, velvety cake. Perfection!

6. Opening myself up so that I may completely experience (read: cry) the profoundly touching and beautiful moments in the every day. I've caught myself thinking, as I blink and swallow past the lump in my throat, 'wow. This is really living.'

7. Lovely, encouraging emails, received first thing in the morning. (Yay for different time-zones! ;)

8. Sweet compromise: BFOC with a twist! Pb cookie (1) + bowl of cereal for breakfast. Filling for the tummy, filling for the soul.

9. Dreaming of vacation (PA in 2 weeks, and we're in the beginning phases of planning our anniversary weekend trip!)

10. Peace. I have no idea what I am meant to do with this life, when I need to move forward, or who I will become. I take comfort in the fact that, beyond this: right here-- right now, is exactly where I am meant to be.

And with that, Goodbye for now! May your day be filled with all sorts of wonderful surprises!

PS: Ah... and I almost forgot: Happy National Running Day!

I hope to celebrate this event after work ... if I don't melt in the process.... it's getting up to 90* here in OH today... Summer is here with a vengeance, baby!

Harmony

Source

Dictionary.com defines harmony as, "agreement; accord." It can also be defined as follows:

"Harmony is the inner cadence of contentment you feel when the melody of life is in tune."

- Sarah Ban Breathnach

Amidst my "internet ramblings" yesterday, I stumbled upon this quote by one of my favorite inspirational authors (ladies, if you've never picked up this book, I highly recommend it. I am working my way through it for the nth time.) I thought this Friday morning would be a perfect time to share it with you :)

Well, how are you, friends?! It's been a whirlwind week over here in "Amy-ville", and suffice it to say, I am SO glad that Monday is a paid holiday for Memorial day. Ahhhh! (remember, this is angel singing...just reminding you in case you've forgotten-- it hasn't been heard on the blog in a few weeks :) Oh , how I am looking forward to sleeping in next Monday-- I feel like this (long) weekend that is coming up will be my reward for making it through this week.

... because this week? Oh my, it's been a doozy.

There have been several (what I will refer to as) 'character building milestones' for me this week, including: J and I surviving our first 'semi-serious' illness as a married couple (J caught the flu, I *knock on wood* am still hanging tough) and my first truly panicked call to the vet (Gracie pranced around a bit too hard on her stitches and bled all over our downstairs. She is absolutely fine. I have about 10 new gray hairs, I think. ... I really hope I am just joking about the gray hairs.)

However, as it always seems to go (thank heavens) there were some really wonderful (or at least funny) milestones that occurred this week as well. You might even say, even with the 'crazies', life remains balanced and, in fact, 'in harmony'. See for yourself:

• Laurie and I ran together (first time outside of a race), and it was fabulous. I think this may be the one arena where "sisterly competition" is good for us :)



• We saw a snake on said run, and I didn't scream like the scared girly girl I am a banshee. In fact, I stepped closer to get a better look. ... Trust me bloggies... this is huge.
  



• To combat some of the stress, I have been a baking machine. We're talking smothered pork chops, mac and cheese, and the most wonderful (and possibly easiest!) peanut butter cookies I've ever made!


• I took a nap on Sunday afternoon!
  


• I finally tried the infamous "green monster" that has been taking the blog-world by storm! ... After a few tweaks (the first one reminded me that I do not, in fact, like banana flavor. Subsequent 'monsters' masked the banana flavor a bit better, and were a lot more enjoyable :)


• I finally got the chance to visit the salad bar at "The Raisin Rack" when my Mom and I went there for lunch to celebrate her birthday! It was just as epically wonderful as I had imagined it would be. For those of you not familiar with this store, it's kind of a small scale version of "Whole Foods".


• While Gracie and I were watching "The Bachelorette", I discovered that she has a sixth sense about such things, and (without fail) would stand on the keyboard (watching via Hulu, so I could spend time with my little girl in the 'Quarantine Room') -- causing the show to pause during the most cringe-worthy parts-- my kitty is brilliant.


• There was a day this week during which I consumed 5 cups of coffee. ...Not particularly a smart thing, but a milestone nonetheless :)


• I found the Answers to life's biggest questions. (not really.... this is just a fun link I found via yahoo, while I was checking my email. I thought some thoughts were insightful, while others were at least good for a smile. Enjoy!)


• I started learning how to use google.documents-- which means I am finding new ways to share things with ya'll!

So, life is chugging right along :) Another important milestone I reached this week was realizing that I have definitely fallen into the "I'll do it when things calm down" trap.

Let me explain: I feel like things have been going at a frantic pace ever since we moved into the new house (at the beginning of April... can you believe it's been almost 2 months?! I sure can't...) and I find that I keep saying, "maybe next week I'll get to it (think about it, do it, etc.) ... when I am not doing x,y,z...." Well, it seems to me that I will always have and X... or a Y... or a Z going on in my life-- and more than likely, I'll often have some combination of all 3.

... And that's a good thing. I need to cling to every moment, loving it for what it is. I need to be truly present. For goodness sake, I need to stop making excuses to myself, and just get up and go. And I'm working on that. I want to be able to fall into bed every night and sleep the sweet, contented sleep of one who has poured her heart into every waking moment and lived in the now, rather than wasting time sighing over certain realities that might not be ideal.

And so, with that in mind, I think it's time for a good list, which is (and always will be) one more step in the right direction :)

Good List

1. J. I know he will help and support me through all the 'character building milestones' yet to come :) Furthermore, I know it will be because of him that I will be able to overcome and push past each one.

2. "The Battle Hymn of the Republic". Ever since I was a little girl I have wanted to sing this with a choir-- as it has always touched me profoundly. Finally, this summer I will have my chance.

3. Waterproof mascara ;)

4. Caprese salads.... mmmm....
5. Ooooh. New peanut butter! I finally got to try this (PB&Co. Cinnamon Raisin Swirl), and it is everything it's cracked up to be.

6. The weather this week has been amazing (haha... until this morning, which has been delightfully warm, but rather overcast.) Oh yes, am I ready for summer!

7. Ponytails and baseball caps.

8. Turquoise. It just says summer to me...
9. 'Birthday $$ financed" mini shopping sprees :)

10. Hope everlasting.

So now that we've covered the 'life-y stuff", the 'big stuff' and the 'good stuff', let's move on to the 'weekend stuff'! This weekend I am looking forward to finishing at least one book tending my (2) flowers, sleeping in late (Saturday, Sunday AND Monday, if I have any say in the matter!), and spending time with our family on Sunday. J and I are also looking forward to a 'double date night' on Saturday, when we'll do dinner and drinks with a friend of mine (gah... who, I just realized, I have known for 10 years?! Crazy... and very, very cool :) We'll be headed to an Italian restaurant in Gahanna, which has garnered some rave reviews (if I haven't mentioned it on 'el bloggy' yet, I am a fan of all things "carb". Love, LoVe, LOVE good pasta and Italian food!)-- I'll give you my take on it next week. Also, maybe J and I will have the chance to go on a "one-on-one" date to the movies this weekend (as you might remember, we were hoping to go last weekend to see 'Iron Man 2'... but then J got sick.)

Do you have any good plans for the weekend? Will you visit family and/or travel? Also, an apropos question for the weekend: what is your favorite picnic food?

Mine is definitely potato salad . .. or s'mores. ... or anything grilled. It's way too hard to pick just one :)

(PS: I apologize for the wonky spacing... after messing with it for upwards of 10 minutes... I gave up....)