Amy Around the Corner

"Achieve": My first marathon

2011-11-16T13:00:00.000-05:00

(All of these pictures are from my parents--thank you so much for being there for me & capturing my special day on film!! ♥)

On October 16, I ran my first marathon.

To say it was a long road to get here would be an understatement :)

...But then again, “It was everything I hoped & dreamed it might be” would also be an understatement.

I do apologize that it’s taken me so long (you know, about a month ;) to write up the recap, but, honestly... it’s taken a while to process ... really, life changing events are prone to do that. And I wanted to give my story justice.

Before I really delve into my story though, I’d like to say this:

Thank you.

Thank you with everything I am. ... While this was an intensely personal journey, it was not one I took on by myself. Over the past few months I have been surrounded and uplifted in a way that I could have never imagined. My network (including Jon, my parents, my in-laws, my sisters ♥, my coworkers, my MiT friends, my best friends from high school and college, and you my wonderful blog friends... most of whom I have never met) made this experience for me. My network believed in me with unwavering faith. My network cheered me on and hugged me on the bad days, and celebrated with me over the good. My network held me accountable to myself.

...As you read this, please know that even if I do not mention you by name, my heart has kept a record of all the grace and love you have extended to me. ...I am humbled and overwhelmed by the precious care my soul has received, and your support means more to me than I could ever put into words. ♥

I trained with MiT for 5 months and hundreds of miles, but the journey really started long before that. At the end of last year I was dealing (not particularly well) with not so wonderful things. After months of walking in the darkness, I knew I needed a change ... and out of that desperation came the courage to make a huge change-- a huge commitment. I signed up to run a marathon. (You can read more about the beginning of the journey here.)

The personal growth I experienced during this time was absolutely phenomenal.

And while I knew, logically, that completing the marathon was just the proverbial “icing on the cake”, I had a real scare when I sprained my ankle a mere 8 days before the marathon. I prayed, I panicked, and I went to the doctor. ... and (thank God) got the “all clear” to run. The rest of the week was spent resting, icing, and attempting to mentally prepare myself for “the big day”.

The morning of the marathon started very early for me... Somewhere around 4 am. I rolled promptly out of bed (no need to kid myself, I was wide awake!) and began the morning routine I had perfected through many weekend long runs. Dress; (feed cats); coffee & peanut butter toast for breakfast; pack up fuel belt (gatorade in bottles, phone, salt & fig newtons in the pocket); lube feet & put on running shoes ... metal pep-talks continuously through the process ;)

Soon, Jon & I were in the car, picking up my running buddy Tracey & heading downtown.

I am so glad I had Tracey with me :) She helped calm my nerves and get me pumped up on the drive over. Furthermore, when we ran into some horrific traffic downtown (Bah. Seriously. We sat on the “off ramp” for over 20 minutes before we finally got out of the car and walked to the hotel.), she kept me upbeat and positive. ...I don’t know what I would have done without her at this point. Really, I don’t.

MiT had booked a ballroom in a hotel close to the starting line, and I was really looking forward to relaxing with my everyone (including my “running girls” that I had been training with in the morning, who were NOT running the Columbus marathon...) and using a real bathroom before being shuttled over to the starting line. ..Well, basically, between the traffic we got stuck in and the shuttle leaving early, we missed meeting up with the group.

...At this point I think I said “I’m so glad we’re together” about every other breath. Truth is, if I had been by myself, I probably would have sat down & cried. We used the hotel bathrooms (which were out of tp, but thankfully not paper towels ... I’m sure that was *awesome* for the septic system, haha) and headed over to the starting line.

The amount of people there was completely overwhelming (our corral was really crowded!), and again, I was SO happy to be with a friend.

Before we knew it, we were off! ...I think we smiled the entire first 10 miles :) It was a gorgeous day (deliciously crisp & cool; with clouds but no rain), and it just felt so good to be out and moving. We ran joyfully through the streets, chatting, singing along with the bands (and, maybe even dancing a little bit ;), complimenting creative race signs & drawing an almost supernatural strength from the crowds.

When I saw Jon at mile 5, I was practically skipping :) Feeling strong and loving every second! I was *doing * it!! ... Holy moly this was actually happening! ... I was running a (bleep)ing marathon!! (Heh. Sometimes only strong word can express the magnitude of a situation :) When I saw my girls (Dana, Heather & Stacy) at mile 10, I gave each of them a big, sweaty hug.

Unfortunately, it was a little after we passed the girls that I got a reality check. We hadn’t been running for more than 5 minutes after that that we saw a runner down; a man, passed out cold in the middle of the street with blood dripping down his temple. I’m not sure when it happened, but people were mobilizing to get him help—running toward him, calling in help on cell phones. ... It was an extremely sobering moment. After we passed I told Tracey (voice quavering), “That was definitely something I never wanted to see.” ...She agreed.

Needless to say, we were a bit more quiet and reflective after that. ...And actually, at mile 14 things started to get a little rough for me. ...I think, honestly, that after the extreme high of the beginning of the race followed by such a frightening & sad “crash back into reality” I was a little worn out. ...This was the part where I needed to start digging deep.

Mile 15 was a good one though, as I got to see both Jon, and my friend Kaitie. I hugged them both & let them know how much it meant to me to have them there – I really needed “my people” at mile 15 ♥

Unfortunately, once I passed mile 15, I entered into what was the hardest part of the race for me. ...Which I was definitely not expecting. In preparation for my marathon, I read numerous race re-caps from other bloggers... all of which seemed to indicate that mile 17 was the turning point. ...Fellow MiTer’s told me time and again, ”your marathon starts at mile 20.” ... As you could guess, I was a little discouraged when I started experiencing some (significant) pain.

... Because I know I would curious, I’ll tell you that while I’m still not sure what on earth the problem was, I was having issues with my bladder (sorry... lovely, right?! If anyone ever tells you that running is a glamorous sport, they are seriously deluded.). ...At first, I thought maybe it was (um) “lady cramps”... but I soon determined that was not the case. Tracey and I trained with a 4:1 run:walk Galloway method ... and the starting & stopping began to cause me some problems. ...By the time the pain got down to a manageable level, it was time to walk again... and the jarring when we started back up was Bad. News.

I think (now that I look back) I’d had hints of this problem during some of my other long runs... but never anything like this. (Full disclosure: there were multiple points during these miles where I doubted my ability to finish.... luckily, I didn’t give in to those thoughts.)

... I visited every single porta-potty between miles 15 and 20, and just generally felt miserable... but we pressed on.

Thank God for mile 20.

Although I wasn’t ready to speak it out loud (for fear of it not coming true), I just had this feeling in my heart that if I could make it to mile 20, I could finish. Mile 20 was not only for significant for the mile-marker... but because my parents were there. ...And, for heaven’s sake, I think that no matter how old I get, seeing my mommy when I don’t feel good just seems to make everything better.

Also, to see & hug my father was a needed boost, too. I talked a little bit here about how we have bonded over a mutual love of exercise, and I knew from the beginning of this journey—without him even having to say anything—how proud of me he was. ... And that means a lot :)

Anyway... after a lengthy mile 20 stop (to refuel with gatorade, water, powerbar chewies & plenty of hugs), we were off again ~~to the next bathroom~~ on the final leg of our journey.

As my co-worker (and experienced marathoner) Larry told me, “...there comes a point in the marathon where you start making deals with yourself. ... Anything it takes to get to the finish.” ... And there was quite a bit of deal-making in those last 6 miles. ...I remember it hurt and I was just getting awfully tired at that point, but I just kept putting one foot in front of the other. ...I blasted “You & I” again and again, and pretended my Uncle Joe was running with me through the OSU campus (which was disappointingly desolate). ... I visualized how it was going to feel to finally cross that finish line. ...I prayed.

...And somewhere around mile 21, the pain lessened (perhaps as a result of this elusive runner’s high I’ve heard of?) ... And (wonder of wonders!) I picked up the pace. It wasn’t pretty, but I cruised along relatively happily until mile 23—where I got a pep talk from Larry (aforementioned co-worker and marathoner – he completed the half-marathon that day!) ... And then it was a 5k “home stretch”.

(Hellooo... evidence of my amazing recovery post-mile 20.)

I don’t remember too much from those last few miles (I must have been ‘in the zone’), but a few memories do shine out through the fog. I remember saying “thank you” to the off-duty officers who were directing traffic... I remember having a conversation with an older gentleman who told me gleefully that “this was HIS first marathon, too!” ... I remember passing a group of people & hearing a man cheer, “Go, Amy!”, and thinking (a) gosh that sounds like Dan (a gentleman in our MiT running group who was especially kind & reassuring to me on my first day with them) and (b) I bet it’s not him – I must be hallucinating {Sigh. Later I found out that it was indeed Dan, and then I felt like a jerk for not turning around to recognize him & talk to him. Drat. Note to self: Next time, always turn around.}

Finally, I found myself on Front Street... the final street before the turn onto Nationwide Blvd & the finish. Here’s where I really started to pick it up. ...First, I heard my mom cheering for me... then I saw my dad with his camera, and then I saw the girls. Dana, Stacy and Heather hopped right out onto the course with me and ran with me those final feet before the turn. I remember running like crazy then, and Dana saying, ”It’s just like home, Amy.” (Awww. ...For the record, I would have cried right then, if I had any extra energy to do so.)

Then I was on Nationwide (which seemed a LOT longer than I was hoping it would be!), and then.... with a chip time of 5:43:59 I crossed the finish line and completed my first marathon.

From there, I navigated through the chute, got my medal & space blanket, almost cried when the photographer said, “You should be so proud... I’m proud of you”... and found Jon. Where, understandably, I lost it :) “Hey... how are you?” He asked through the fence, smiling. “{Sniffle, hic} I’m {hic, hic} so glad {sniff} it’s over!” I sobbed. ...And then I pulled myself together and made it to the reunion area, where I got to hug Jon, my parents & Tracey.

Me, Amanda & Tracey, MiT friends :)

In conclusion: I would definitely rank this among the best days of my life. It was worth everything. ... And it taught me that I am worth it, as well.

The million dollar question is, of course: would I ever do another one?

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And it can only be answered with a resounding "Yes!"

Thanks again for going on this journey with me. ... I look forward to keeping you updated as my story (as Amy, and as a runner) continues to unfold.

My weekend ...

2011-11-15T11:22:00.010-05:00

Late on Sunday afternoon, I got my Gahanna Run in.

And it was glorious.

Although it wasn't my best run (by far... Oy. I had planned on running 6 miles and started feeling crummy after 2, so I stopped and walked for another 1.5 miles and called it "good"), I was in one of my favorite places, so it was still a great run.

I spent so much time growing up on these streets. ...I ran this route multiple times between Cross Country & Track season in high school. I'vs walked these neighborhoods multiple times with my mother, and one especially memorable rainy time with Jon.

Coming back feels like coming home. And as I remember my past here, I draw strength for my future.

(PS: Marathon post coming TOMORROW!! Stay tuned...)

Good List Fridays, 11.11.11

2011-11-11T11:30:00.000-05:00

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First and foremost, a heartfelt thank you to all the incredible men and women who have served and continue to serve our country and protect our freedoms, our rights and our lives. My words will never be enough, but I am forever grateful.

Good morning & Happy Friday, friends! I hope you have all been having a wonderful week :)

This week has positively flown by for me, and I am looking forward to a busy weekend (really! looking forward to it!): filled with shopping with Laurie & my mom, yard work (must admit, that one I'm not looking forward to as much ;), and hopefully sneaking in a Sunday afternoon run (side note: I've been trying to get in a "Gahanna Run" since before ~~I sprained my ankle~~ my marathon ... and it hasn't happened yet. ...So, here's hoping! ...And if I get a chance to do that this weekend, I'll totally "take you along with me" :)

We are entering the time of year where it seems like time defies all convention and picks up speed. ...There is always something to do and someone to see....And somehow, even when we cannot get it all done, it's "all good". ... The holiday season is beautiful and magical like that ♥ ...I actually have some more "Holiday thoughts" to share with you in the coming days...so be on the look-out.

...And I'm chugging along happily through the 'time warp'. Last weekend I hit up a holiday bazaar to get a jump-start on my Christmas shopping, and a good friend and I are discussing a post-Thanksgiving "Thanksgiving Dinner Party" that I am really looking forward to (hello, dinner parties are my love language!) ... I am hoping (and will be working to set things in motion!) to open my house to friends and family multiple times during this season of love. ... Shorter days and cooler temperatures mean cozy fires, warm homecooked meals, snuggly blankets & gathering in.

"It's all good."

And fittingly, now it's time for a "Good Friday post", to reign in all the other miscellaneous goodness that has impacted my life over the past weeks.

Good List:

(Sneak Peek from my marathon re-cap, coming soon!)

1. Jon. Great husband... great friend :)

2. Answered prayers ♥

3. Wisdom from valued friends & mentors

4. New boots (Yeahhh, baby!)

5. I don't want to brag, but our weather here has been stunning lately. Crisp & breezy, with breathtaking red-orange trees agains dark skies. This is what I live for each year. ... Makes the accompanying yard work totally worth it ;)

Ignoring the traffic, isn't this a gorgeous fall sky? ..Love this.

6. I've got to be honest: as much as I love the fall-like weather that's come in the past week, I am *really* struggling with the time change. It's nice to go to work in the light, but it's awfully hard to come home and stay motivated when it's dark. Still, I am embracing the ebb & flow of the seasons, and giving myself grace as I adjust to the change. A good thing about the time change? Gorgeous night runs.

Do you see the tail wrapped around him & the paw over the eyes?! I die...

7. The kitties. They never fail to make my life more exciting. ... Also, Baron voluntarily sat in my lap last week. Miracles occur every day, folks.

8. California wine.

9. I'm going to be a tease and not reveal anything yet ... but I am *really* excited for next year. It's going to be a really great one for our family.

(Okay, okay... I won't be totally cruel. ~~Because I think this sounds suggestive, and I field enough of these questions~~ I will tell you, I am not expecting a baby, although we will be welcoming another one into our extended family... and I couldn't be more thrilled about that!! ... This statement envelops that and... something else...)

10. "Our truest dreams are when we are in dreams awake." - Thoreau

Your Turn: Are you getting excited about the holidays like I am? How's the Fall weather in your neck of the woods? ... What's one "good thing" from your week?

Travel Diaries, Day 6: Final day in San Francisco

2011-11-09T13:15:00.017-05:00

Welcome to my 2011 CA Vacation mini-series. ...Jon & I spent a week in San Francisco & Wine Country during September, and ~~slowly but surely~~ it is my pleasure to relive the memories & share our stories with you, one post at a time!

Friday was our last day in California, and so, understandably, when the alarm chirped bright and early, I sprang out of bed, ready to seize the last day and soak up every last minute!(East to West time change is glorious, people. ...I was up & at 'em bright and early each morning, and by the time lunchtime rolled around each day, we all ready had a good amount of "touring" under our belts. ... Of course, on the flip-side, we were pretty much done for by 8 pm every night....)

I began my day with a little "Today Show" on the treadmill, and then joined Jon for a leisurely hotel breakfast. From there, our first destination of the day was Telegraph Hill, and Coit Tower.

I am convinced that when you are in San Francisco, the journey is just as vivacious as the destination. ...We wound our way through the city and up the hills (Jon's comment to me: (huff, puff) "Now I know why you brought me to to California. ...You wanted to kill me & get a new husband... Happy anniversary to you, too!" (huff, puff) Once I could catch my breath, I laughed and assured him that this was most definitely NOT the case ;) ... pausing at an overlook at the end of Telegraph Hill to take pictures in a small park and ogle the view.

::Gorgeous ♥::

Once our heart rate came down a little, we proceeded to the top of the hill :)

Coit Tower is awesome not only for the spectacular, panoramic views of the city, but for the amazing murals inside the building. When you enter the tower, you find yourself in a circular room: floor to ceiling art. The colorful display showcases the city's rich history. (Here is a link to some pictures!) ...We wandered around inside the tower for quite a while!

Our walk back to Pier 39 was equally lovely ♥

(Aren't these some of the coolest plants you've ever seen?)

The remainder of the day was pretty mellow. We grabbed lunch (clam chowder in bread bowls) at the Eagle Cafe, and the proceeded to the Aquarium, where we spent a couple hours ~~scared~~ awed by the huge fish. (As I told Jon, they're gorgeous... but if I was in that tank, I'd be flipping the heck out ;)

The aquarium had several tanks that you walked through (like a tunnel), and having massive sharks and sparkly little schools of fish swimming over top of you was really something else!

After the aquarium, we relaxed in the sunshine on the dock, reminiscing about our favorite parts of the trip. We had a great time watching the sea lions sun themselves... It was fun to see how graceful they were in the water... and how awkward & un-weildy they are on land! (Also, if you zoom in on the picture, I'm pretty certain the big gray guy in the middle is smiling!)

Dinner that night was, in a word, stellar. We dined at the Fog Harbor Fish House, and had a breathtaking view of the sunset on the water. We sipped wine (erm, I sipped wine... Jon sampled the local micro-brew ;), and lingered over lemony calamari (appetizer), ahi tuna (her) and fish & chips (him -- side note: Jon's favorite thing to order at a restaurant, second only to perhaps steak, is fish & chips. ... I'm pretty sure he's a fish & chips connoisseur...Heh.) It was one of those nights were we didn't do a lot of talking; we just quietly enjoyed each others' company :) I just remember thinking to myself, "How lucky I am to be here right now... with my very best friend... experiencing all this." I know that years from now we will look back on this vacation & remember how special it was.

Our night ended with a moonlit stroll back to the hotel, with a bag of hot donuts in hand. (Seriously, friends, I could not leave SF without eating those glorious mini-donuts one last time ;) We scheduled a taxi pick-up for the next morning, and then headed upstairs for coffee, donuts, and some packing (we had an *eaaarrrllly* flight out the next morning-- taxi pick up was at 5:15 am!)

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...And thus concludes my CA 2011 vacation recaps.

I'm ready to go back now, please :)

In all seriousness, though, it was an amazing time. I feel so blessed that Jon & I had the opportunity to celebrate our anniversary in wine country. I don't know what our future holds... and I hope it will grace us with many more beautiful adventures like this one-- but this trip in particular will be forever imprinted on my heart... and I'll always remember the fall of 2011, when I left part of my heart in ~~San Francisco~~ California.

Your Turn: What places do you want to visit in your lifetime? Have you gotten a chance to check any of them off your list yet?

Reset

2011-11-08T06:45:00.002-05:00

Good morning, friends!

I hope that you all had a wonderful night's sleep and are ready to take on the day (or at least another cup of coffee, like me!) Likewise, I hope that you had a wonderful October :) For my part, I can confidently say "I DID!" October brought with it some huge milestones (including the completion of my first marathon on October 16), as well as, at the end of the month, some much needed time to relax and reflect.

I've missed this little blog, but I am excited to be back :) I am excited to share my final CA recap with you, as well as an epic marathon post. I am excited to tell you about my plans for the holiday season that make my heart sing. I am excited to share pictures and dreams and real-time weekly updates. ...I'm excited.

And I'll be back soon to start the sharing :)

Have a fantastic Tuesday!

Your Turn: What have you been up to in the past couple weeks? Can you believe that it's all ready November? Have "holiday plans" started to come together at your house, too?

PS: In the meantime... just because I haven't posted here lately doesn't mean I stopped writing all together! I had the honor to guest post for my lovely friend Hannah last Wednesday! You can read my post here, if you like!

Travel Diaries Day 5: Playing Tourist in San Francisco

2011-10-13T17:00:00.017-04:00

Welcome to my 2011 CA Vacation mini-series. ...Jon & I spent a week in San Francisco & Wine Country during September, and ~~slowly but surely~~ it is my pleasure to relive the memories & share our stories with you, one post at a time!

Thursday was our day to see the city!

It was also a day full of pictures, and I will let the pictures tell the stories, with a few captions here & there :)

Enjoy!

(Also: I am silly. Today is NOT the last recap day! Tomorrow I'll cover our last day in SF -- including Coyt Tower & an aquarium tour...)

Our morning began in Chinatown, taking in all the colors, sights, sounds & smells of a different culture...

... And continued with a trip to the Cable Car Museum. (It was awesome, but un-air conditioned... so we didn't stay overly long ;)....

... Lunch was enjoyed at U-Lee, a small hole-in-the-wall place in Chinatown that was recommended by one of Jon's co-workers (thanks, Justin!) ... They had "the best pot-stickers in town". ... We whole-heartedly agreed with the rave reviews...

... After lunch, we explored some more ...

...And eventually found our way to Lombard St. 'The crookedest street in the world'.

... After walking down the crookedest street and taking a bazillion pictures, we returned to our hotel room, for a brief rest and some map reading...

... And then we headed out again :)

Destination? ....Chocolate -- but of course!

(I think we need to take a moment here to pause in awe of the amazingness that is pumpkin spice caramel & milk chocolate. Holy. Goodness.)

After Ghirardelli, we still had a bit of time before dinner, and wandering farther still, we found a gorgeous park ....

... and a beach! We decided to sit & stay awhile.

(And here is where I stopped taking pictures, apparently.)

An hour or so later, Jon and I headed back to Pier 39 for dinner. We ate at Luigi's Pizzeria, splitting a BBQ Chicken Pizza and a pitcher of beer (a.. um, large pitcher as a matter of fact. Heh.) We had a breathtaking view of the harbor at sunset :) We laughed and talked long after our plates were clean...

...A perfect close to another lovely day in California ♥ ...

... Counting my blessings

2011-10-12T17:00:00.002-04:00

(Note: This isn't exactly a bouncy-typical Amy type of post. But this is me and this is my heart, and it's what I have to give you today. I'll be back to business as usual tomorrow with my final *sniff* CA vacation post!)

Hi, friends! Happy Wednesday:)

Boy, has this been a week for me. I am an emotional train wreck (poor Jon, I know). I am exhausted, and it's only Wednesday. Methinks it's time to take a deep breath ~~drink a glass of wine~~ and count my blessings.

It's been rolling around in my mind for a while now that I need to write a post about the emotional ups & downs of marathon training -- and marathon tapering, which has been a whole new beast all together.

This coming Sunday, October 16, is the Columbus Marathon. I have been training for almost 6 months, and have put more than 400 miles in. I have had blisters between my toes, and learned *the hard way* that Gu does not agree with my tummy. I have taken ice baths, and crawled out of bed at sinful hours to put in long mileage before work.

... And through this, I have grown. I say with certainty that I am not the same person I was when I started this journey. Everyone has their own demons that they battle in their life -- those dark forces that seek to steal your joy and take away your feelings of self worth. For me (and this is hard for me to put into words, so bear with me) -- the demon taunts me that I am not enough. Not good enough, not dedicated enough, not strong enough... Earlier this year, my heart decided that it had had enough, and, in a moment of reckless spontaneity, I signed up to run a marathon.

Throughout the course of marathon training, I fell in love with running, I fell in love with my amazing training partners, and I fell back in love with me. The long mileage has forced me to come face-to-face with myself.... to judge, to distance myself and look with new eyes and find ... me. I am not (by any stretch of the imagination) flawless, but I am tenacious, I am willing and I am strong. I have found strength in my spirit that I always hoped I might have. ...I have taken that leap of faith and become the woman that inspires me.

...I have come so far. ...And this Sunday's race will just be icing on the cake. The "end" of a beautiful journey. I know that I do not need to cross the finish line to grow and heal -- I've all ready done that. This journey... the most physically & mentally challenging I've encountered yet... has proved to me beyond a doubt that I am enough.

But, even though I know that it's the journey -- not the destination that is the most important, I'm kind of invested in this. At this point, not being able to run my race on Sunday would be nothing short of heartbreaking.

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So, now I have a story for you. (Hint: you aren't going to believe this -- and it is, in fact, the reason I've been avoiding writing for a couple days.)

This past Saturday when I was up in Toledo helping Laurie move into her new apartment (which is gorgeous, btw...), I stepped off a concrete step the wrong way and rolled my ankle.

Frankly, I roll my ankles all the time when I'm running... most of the time it happens because I'm running next to a friend on a narrow strip of sidewalk... Ooopsie-- no big deal. ...But this was a heck of a roll --the pain knocked the wind out of me. I immediately tried to ~~save face~~ walk it off... but I was limping... and becoming scared. When we got inside I took a look at it, and it was definitely swelling. But I iced, compressed and took my NSAIDs (heh. Laurie, are you proud?) diligently, and did my best to remain positive.

...It was when my ankle was still sore and swollen yesterday that I panicked. ...I had a miniature meltdown in my office at lunchtime, and followed that up with a call to Dr. Bright (MiT doctor extraordinaire.) I hadn't run since last Thursday and I was worried about going back out too soon and really getting hurt. Thankfully, Dr. Bright's staff was able to fit me in this morning in between appointments.

It's not a stretch to say that I had about a bazillion thoughts racing through my mind as I sat waiting to be seen by the doctor. Finally, as I sat trembling (nerves, not coffee... I made sure to drink decaf this morning!) I threw my hands up in the air and turned my face to the heavens, "Thy will be done."

The doctor walked in sometime after that, and after turning this way and pushing that way, gently pressing and asking, "Does this hurt?" ("No.... Nope. ...No.... Yoww.") He gave me the verdict: buy a good ankle brace and take it easy, but by all means, run the marathon. ...And then he shook my hand and left.

I am so thankful.

... After that, the rest of the day has been... well, long. I'm worn out. Lunch with my friend (since ~~forever~~ high school) Bethany was a definite high point ... but there have been some pretty low points, too. Life goes on.

My wake-up moment of the afternoon came when I received an email from my husband, telling me that he spent his morning driving a couple of friends to the hospital after they learned that 2 of their friends had been involved in a terrible motorcycle accident last night. After I read his email, I just sat quietly for a few moments, my heart breaking for the families of these two young men. And all I could think was "Why?" Why am I so lucky today while these others are hurting so deeply? ... I am indeed blessed, and today the gravity of that grace is weighing heavily on me. How small I am, and how small my problems are.

... Yet... how big my God is. And so tonight I will press forward, knowing that in Him, I am enough, and I am strong enough. I will pour a glass of wine and not stress about my marathon training, and I will kiss my kitties more & hug Jon a little longer than usual.

And on Sunday I will run my marathon, as a celebration of life: for the overcoming of the demons, for love, for the everyday triumphs of the human spirit.

...For me. For Life.

Day 4, part ii: Dinner Date on Pier 39

2011-10-06T12:15:00.009-04:00

Welcome to my 2011 CA Vacation mini-series. ...Jon & I spent a week in San Francisco & Wine Country during September, and ~~slowly but surely~~ it is my pleasure to relive the memories & share our stories with you, one post at a time!

Once we left Muir Woods, we stopped for a quick bagel sandwich at a little deli in Strawberry, CA and we were on our way to San Francisco!

Having learned an important "marriage lesson" on our way to wine country, I was driving & Jon was navigating :) .... And, apparently, goo*gle maps was cooperating. ...When we were trying to get from the airport to Santa Rosa, we were taken on a scenic tour of the city... which was very nice, but rather wind-y and confusing. (Read: NOT what we needed after 12+ hours of travel and no sleep...) Conversely, our trip back into the city was a piece of cake. ...*Thank You, thank You, thank You*... We returned our rental car, gathered our ~~wine~~ baggage, and hopped in a taxi for a short ride to our hotel.

Then once we were situated, we headed out to explore :)

The first night, we stayed relatively close to 'home base' (a Holiday Inn at Fisherman's Wharf), winding our way to the water through a grid of vendors. We paused briefly to watch ships in the harbor, and then headed on to Pier 39.

Now, let me be honest: crowds aren't usually our thing. I loathe shopping during the holidays (often you will find me buying milk & eggs at 7 am to avoid the crowds, hehe), and I kind of dislike mall shopping for the same reason. I would much rather be somewhere quiet, where I feel like I have room to breathe .

But Pier 39 was vibrant. ... And the multitude of people milling around was part of that :)

There was so much to see: stores containing pretty much anything you could imagine (i.e.: "Lefty's", a left-handed store for those "right brained people in your life", an NFL store, "The Spice & Tea Exchange" ... etc.); street performers & live music; a gorgeous fresh fruit stand (a bit pricey to partake, but I loved looking!); and, of course, the views were lovely ♥

Jon and I wandered for a while, and then ended up at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. for dinner. Shrimp & veggie skewers for me, "Shrimper's Heaven" (a mix of favorite shrimp dishes) for Jon. We both enjoyed the strawberry/lemonade/rum drink. Divine.

After dinner, we strolled around the pier a bit more, pausing to watch (& listen to!) the sea lions, coming home to rest on large barges in the bay.

...The weather was absolutely delicious. It was about 70* at 4pm when we started exploring, and dropped into the low 60's when the sun set. ... Truth be told, I was a bit chilly, but Jon held my hand to keep me warm :)

We ended our night with a stop at Trish's Mini-donut stand, purchasing a small bag of donuts and hot coffees to warm our hands. When we returned to our hotel, we sipped coffee and reminisced about our day and our vacation so far... eating hot donuts and smiling as we licked the sugar off our fingers.

♥It was, all in all, a truly fantastic day ♥

Your Turn: Tell me about the best food you've ever tried on vacation! For me, all the dinners we had in CA were exceptional! Fantastic steak in Santa Rosa, and to-die-for sea food in SF. ... these mini-donuts pretty much stole my heart, too :)

Travel Diaries Day 4, part i: Muir Woods

2011-10-04T17:37:00.021-04:00

(alternate post title) Spiritual Homecoming among the Redwoods

Welcome to my 2011 CA Vacation mini-series. ...Jon & I spent a week in San Francisco & Wine Country during September, and ~~slowly but surely~~ it is my pleasure to relive the memories & share our stories with you, one post at a time!

On Wednesday morning, Jon & I woke early(ish) to breakfast, pack the car and head off on the second leg of our journey -- to San Francisco!

... But before we got to San Francisco, we took a little side trip. When I was in CA in 2005, I got the opportunity to visit Muir Woods, and I remembered it being a very spiritually-filling experience. ... And add to that: for Jon & I, being in the woods is kind of "our thing".

While we don't camp in the woods or scale the most strenuous trails, I think our hearts just feel at home in the woods ♥

Ever since we started dating, walking in the woods has been a special, bonding time for us. ...We walked together in Blendon Woods that summer evening in 2001 when I finally confessed my feelings for him. ...And in the summer of 2008, on a trail in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee, Jon got down on his knee and asked me to marry him.

So... walking in the woods together is kind of sacred to us. ...And 'visit Muir woods' was on my list of *Must Do's * (...along with... you know, visit Ghiradelli Square. ... Feed your soul, feed your tummy. Priorities, people ;)

Our visit did not disappoint.

And our reverent moments together in Muir woods this September are memories I will treasure in my heart for years to come.

Peace is such a nebulous concept ... one that I feel I've been pursuing relentlessly for ages now. But there's just something about being out in the woods, soaking up the loud silence of nature that brings me *thismuch* closer to finding it. Something within me just clicks, and my very soul heaves a sigh of relief. It's as if, in those stolen moments of stillness, everything is right ... and I am so much more me than I ever allow myself to be in the vivacious blur of 'the real world'.

Even though our time was limited (we ached to stay, but were anxious about driving through city traffic in peak hours...) we took away so much:

... the warmth & fellowship of community. Standing with people from all cultures and looking up, in awe, at the majesty of the great trees....

...the heart-rending recognition of 'smallness' of "us", humbled by the vastness of the universe...

... and, somehow, a renewed sense of purpose. A grounding peace and courage to move forward. Confidence in the fact that, despite all the roadblocks, life is beautiful.

Every second as we wandered quietly, hand in hand, I fell a little bit more in love: with Jon, who knows & loves my heart better than anyone else ever could; with nature, and it's beautiful routines and anomalies; and with The God who breathed it all into existence.

It was absolutely time well spent. ...Perhaps the greatest 'side-trip' of my life. ♥

"Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul."
-John Muir

Stay tuned for Day 4 part ii (tomorrow morning!) ... I just felt that I could do this vacation day more justice by breaking it up :) Tomorrow -- San Francisco!!

Travel Diaries, Day 3: Platypus Wine Tour

2011-09-29T20:53:00.001-04:00

Since we booked our tickets for our anniversary vacation (back in May), I'd been looking forward to our wine tour :) We booked our day long wine tour of the Russian River Valley with Platypus, after hearing rave reviews floating around the blog world. I am so glad we did!

It did not disappoint.

I knew I was going to love the wine. … But it was so much more than just sipping from glassy globes filled with gem colored nectar.

… The science fascinated me.

...The company (we were in a group with 2 other couples, and our tour guide, Stanley, was superb!) welcomed me, made me comfortable, and made me laugh.

...The landscape took my breath away.

Throughout the course of the day, we visited 5 different wineries, each delightfully different:

Inspiration Vineyards

After the first winery, we passed around a cheese plate to help keep up our strength. …Seriously. Is there anything better than cheese and wine?!

After our tasting at the Dutton Estate, we enjoyed a lovely picnic alfresco: lunch meat sandwiches on croissants, a quinoa/veggie salad, pears and apples. We relaxed in the shade, basking in the glow of the wine & camaraderie, chatting and getting to know the people we were spending the day with.

At the end of the day, we toted our *ahem* 10 bottles of wine off the bus and returned to our hotel room exhausted but deliriously happy.

It's a day we'll remember for a long, long time :)

Your Turn: Are you a wine drinker? If so, what is your favorite kind of wine? ... I'm a merlot fan, like my daddy :) If you're not a wine drinker (or just tell me anyway!), tell me about the most beautiful place you've ever visited!

Travel Diaries Day 2: Adventures in Healdsburg

2011-09-28T09:30:00.013-04:00

Welcome to my 2011 CA Vacation mini-series. Each day this week, I'll be recapping a day from our trip!

Note from Amy : I'm so sorry, friends. I meant to press publish on this post on Monday... Re-entry into the real world has been pretty rough, but I think I am finally falling back into the swing of things ;)

I am pleased to tell you, that after our rocky start to the vacation, the following day was absolutely delightful ... As was the rest of the vacation ♥ (Thank You, thank You... :)

Monday (September 19) was our anniversary, and, while we had planned to go on a wine tour with Platypus... since we did not get into town until about 3 am, our plans changed. I cannot say enough good things about the Platypus customer service. I called them (practically in tears) on Sunday afternoon while we were in the Philly airport and left them a message explaining my situation, and when I turned on my phone after we landed in SF, I had a message from Don telling me we were all taken care of. They were able to move our tour to Tuesday morning, no problem. (And the tour was awesome! More on that in the next installment :) ...What a huge weight off my shoulders!

But with our original plans changed, we needed something to do on our first day in CA.

First order of business was, of course, sleep ;) Jon was able to sleep until 11 am... but I was excited (sigh... and I am beginning to think that sleep is not my strong suit, anyway...), and I woke at about 8am. First order of business for me (obviously): coffee! I prowled down to the breakfast buffet and grabbed a newspaper, leisurely savoring my bagel, banana and cup o' joe. (Side note: No joke, I think I ate more bananas on this vacation than I have eaten in the past 6 months. Lesson to me: if I have them available, I will eat them. My legs will thank me ;) Then, I came back to our room and snuck out onto the balcony with my laptop to do a bit of writing.

Once Jon woke, we opened anniversary cards, hugged each other and laughed a little about our trip's crazy start (he said, "I think that should be the worst of it. If we didn't kill each other yesterday, I think that says good things for us." Amen, babe.), and planned our day.

A certain favorite blogger of mine has sung the praises of Healdsburg multiple times... and her gorgeous pictures of a vibrant small town had me hooked. I knew that it would be a good fit for us, and I was right. Jon told me the other day it was his favorite part of the trip ♥

So, after a quick lunch, we were off to downtown Healdsburg (implementing another important lesson learned: I was driving, Jon was navigating!)

The sunny afternoon was spent holding hands and strolling down Healdsburg Ave (map here, if you are interested!); in and out of fascinating, artsy shops; relaxing on a bench in Town Plaza with frozen yogurt from 'Snow Bunny'; wine tasting in the Vintage Wine Estates tasting room; and generally soaking up the beauty of the town. It was our kind of place.

Here are some more pictures from the afternoon:

At the end of the day, we celebrated with a special anniversary dinner at Stark's Steakhouse. Please, please: if you enjoy steak & visit Santa Rosa, check out this restaraunt. It was everything we were hoping it would be: romantic & classy without being uptight... and the food was divine! We went a little wild (I was pretending I was a foodie :), enjoying shrimp cocktail, french fries with truffle oil (sweet. heavens.), DiCisso Broccoli with toasted pinenuts & golden raisins, and, of course, steak. We ate slowly and deliberately, soaking in the atmosphere, reveling in the warmth of good food & good love.

It was a fantastic anniversary ♥

Your Turn: If you have a significant other, what has been your favorite anniversary memory? This is mine, hands-down :) ...What is your favorite way to explore a new place on vacation? Do you plan meticulously, or "wander and watch" like we do? ... Maybe a little bit of both? ;)

Next Chapter of the Travel Diaries: Wine tour with Platypus! ... Coming soon :)

Travel Diaries, Day 1: Lessons in flexibility

2011-09-25T19:40:00.000-04:00

Welcome to my 2011 CA Vacation mini-series. Each day this week, I'll be recapping a day from our trip!

...Well.

Our trip did not begin as expected.

To put it mildly.

But I'll back it up a little bit, and tell the story from the beginning :)

The day started off perfectly. Jon & I woke at 7 am, did our final packing (said a few prayers that we didn't forget anything important!), kissed the kitties a bazillion times, and loaded into my parents' car for the ride to the airport. Our flight plan was to fly out of CMH through Chicago, leaving at 11 am, so we arrived at the airport at 9, breezed through security, and got some coffee & breakfast (her: perfect oatmeal; him: chocolate chip scone) on our way to the gate.

And I'll pause here, because this was, honest-to-goodness, ~~the best part~~ my favorite part of the day. It was early and we were excited, the whole trip stretching out before us, ripe with promise. Jon had never been to California. I had been to San Francisco once before... and it was life-changing (perhaps worthy of a future post?). Neither of us had been to wine country, but... come on... it's a perfect romantic vacation.

We just knew this was going to be the trip of a lifetime ♥

So there we sat, in the warm coffee shop, sunlight streaming across the runway behind us, dreaming. Planning out what we wanted to do during the week, all the sites to see.... the pictures to take... the food to try. Cradling warm cups of coffee and speaking in hushed tones. So in love with each other & the moment.

It was, in a word, lovely.

(Columbus Airport)

Unfortunately, after that, things started to fall apart. First our flight to Chicago was delayed for 2 hours. … Then we got on the plane and sat for and hour before they announced to us that there was a big storm over Chicago and all landings were being held. …So, we de-boarded and began the tedious process of patching together a new flight plan.

Part 2 of the plan was to fly through Philadelphia (you know… go east to go west… meh.) From there we would catch the flight out to San Francisco. Because we now had 3 additional hours in the airport, I won some 'good wife' points by suggesting that we grab a beer while we waited. ... That was a good decision :) We sipped as we watched people bustling past, and laughed about "the best laid plans". …I had actually never had any problems like this when flying, and I was still feeling positive & hopeful.

We rolled with it.

(Philadelphia Airport)

It was once we boarded the plane to Philly that we started to get a little discouraged. …I'm not really sure what happened, but from the sounds of it, the delays in Chicago were delaying everything to the east. …As we sat on the runway watching our 50 minute cushion slip away, we began to realize that the trip was going to be a tricky one.

When we got to Philly, we had 10 minutes to grab our plane-side luggage, catch a bus to a different terminal, race to our gate, and catch our plane. When we were about halfway through the bus line, we heard them page us for a final call, and when we arrived breathless at our gate, it turned out we had missed our flight by minutes. UGH.

As we exited our first flight, we had been intercepted by a flight attendant, who encouraged us to try to make our initial flight, but handed us a pair of "back-up tickets" for a later flight. It was while we were shaking our heads at the the gate of our missed flight that we discovered, while we had 2 tickets… we only had 1 seat. Jon was on stand-by. He was not a happy man. (And it was at this point that I started seriously wondering if our marriage was going to make it to 2 years…)

It's no stretch to say that I was praying constantly last Sunday. Our moments of good during those stressful hours included slices of margherita pizza in the food court, and texts with both sets of parents, providing needed encouragement.

(Philadelphia Airport)

I am so happy to tell you that Jon got a seat, and we landed in CA at about midnight (which was 3 am "our time"… and we were really feeling it!) From there, we rented a car (um… rented 2 cars, actually. We returned the first after hitting the highway at 5000+ rpm and an engine that sounded like it might fall out of the bottom of the car…) and drove the 1.5 hours to Santa Rosa.

Neither of us was in particularly good shape when we got there… but we were both awake :) Jon's strength & patience with driving through a confusing city after being awake for 24 hours astounded me. …Finally laying my head on a pillow has never felt so good :)

A few short hours later, we woke for our first day of adventures :) Stay tuned for tomorrow's Travel Diary: Adventures in Healdsburg!

Your Turn! I know I am in the minority when I say that travel issues like this had never happened to me before. Has anything like this ever happened to you? Road trips, plane trips, etc. … Tell me your stories!

Challenge II, D17: Surprise!

2011-09-24T19:15:00.007-04:00

At the time this post goes live, I will most likely be snuggling Gracie, unpacking 10 bottles of wine, breathing in the familiar smells of my home and falling, exhausted into my own bed, for the first time in a week.

…As some of you may have guessed, this past week I have been busy … in California!

Quite frankly, my plan was to blog like normal (you know, a tricksy-let's discuss real life except for where I am right now- normal ;) …and then my body didn't really adjust to CA time and I was passed out by 8:30 every night ( *sigh* I wish I was kidding…) …and then our internet availability was pretty much non-existent … and then I realized, 'Hey, this (unintentional) blogging break is just a damn good excuse to unplug & spend some quality time with my husband'… and then? Life was good.

Needless to say… I have SO much to share with you. San Francisco & wine country were every bit as amazing as I dreamed they would be. It was a fantastic time … and a ~~big~~ part of me isn't ready to be back yet :)

This next week I am going to be blogging a mini-series entitled "Travel Diaries", to share some of the pictures & stories. I hope you enjoy reading about what we were up to during my week AFK…. and I think I am really going to enjoy sifting through my pictures (I don't even know how many I took… but I was very proud of myself!) and my memories for the 'best of the best for the blog' ;)

Because our trip started on Sunday, I will start my recap on Sunday, as well (after I recover from my 22 miler in the morning…. almost taper time…. almost taper time….)

But in the meantime, here are some teaser pictures from the trip:

Happy Saturday!

Good List Friday: volume viii

2011-09-23T18:21:00.011-04:00

Happy, happy Friday, friends! Also ... Happy Autumn!

I hope you have been having a wonderful week :) I apologize for flying a bit 'under the radar' the past couple days… but I'll be back for good tomorrow! (I promise I'll be back to commenting, etc., too! My internet connection has been a little wonky lately, and, pained as I am to admit it, that has left me feeling sadly lost & out of touch!) I have all sorts of really exciting things to share with you--- I think you will enjoy the mini-series I've got coming up next week ;)

It's been a gorgeous day here, and, while I did get a little depressed this morning watching GMA and hearing about all the "worldly happenings", overall I am filled with hope, and my heart is happy. …Also, it's pumpkin spice Friday ♥ … and that never fails to lift my mood!

Just a quickie post for you today… but, like I said, I'll be back tomorrow evening ;)

Let's start the weekend off right with another installment of Good List Friday:

Good List:

1. Jon. I've had such wonderful adventures with my best friend this week!
2. Good sunglasses :)
3. Red wine & Dark chocolate
4. Warm sunshine & cool breezes
5. Comfortable sneakers
6. Coffeeeeee
7. Courage to speak up
8. Encouragement
9. Friday night "date night" ♥
10. "A woodland in full color is awesome as a forest fire, in magnitude at least, but a single tree is like a dancing tongue of flame to warm the heart." ~Hal Borland

Your Turn: What things make your "good list" this week?

PS: A special "Good Luck!" shout out to my friend, Hannah, who is running a 5k tomorrow :) You are going to rock it, girl!! Can't wait to hear about it!

2

2011-09-19T12:43:00.010-04:00

Dear Jon ~

2 year ago today I was shaking beside you at the altar, well aware of the enormity of what I was doing. We'd known each other for years, so it wasn't a surprise to anyone, including us, when we decided to get married, but I was a little nervous just the same. Giddily excited.... absolutely overwhelmed with love & happiness ... but nervous.

I think I had every right to be nervous... after all, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. My parents had set a wonderful example for me as I was growing up, but sustaining and nourishing a marriage is not something one can learn just by watching. There was so much I didn't know... and there is so much that I still need to learn.

In addition to learning how to be a wife, I am still in the process of learning how to be me. ... But you have been my anchor. You love me in spite of and because of my flaws, which, I am sorry to say, I seem to discover more of those along the way, too ;) You believe in my dreams but you are constantly encouraging me to move, ingraining the truth on my heart that sometimes you cannot wait for the "right chance" to fall into your lap, you need to chase it down and pour your heart and soul in 100% from the get-go.

I love your strength and and kindness. ... Your patience astounds me. You are teaching me, every day, how to love you. And that is a sacred task that I give thanks for every single day. And you? Jon, no one could love me like you do ...

We took each other "for better or for worse"... and this has been a really good year for us. Last year had some sadness & upheaval ... but this year has been a year of settling in and putting down roots. I know that some years will be hard and others will be good-upon-good, but no matter what comes our way, I know that I can handle it with you by my side.

You are my best friend, my partner in crime, and the love of my life.

I want to be with you for 2 years x infinity.

Happy Anniversary.

~ Amy

"I love you
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

...

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good.
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.

You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.

You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all."

-Roy Croft

Challenge II, D16: Good List Friday, volume vii

2011-09-16T09:18:00.026-04:00

Gooooood Friday to you, friends!

Although I didn't sleep very *much* last night, I slept well. Overnight the temperatures in central OH got down to a crisp 47*, and with the bedroom windows open an inch and the delicious weight of a down comforter pressing on me it was recipe for a perfect night's sleep. It was hard to get up this morning ... made harder by the fact that I had the dead-weight of a sleepy Gracie nestled into my chest ♥ But, here I am, coffee in hand, ready to take on another day. TGIF, indeed :)

While there were moments when it seemed like this week would never end, now that I am at the waning end of a 40 hour work week I can smile and pat myself on the back,"That wasn't so bad now, was it?" Still, as good as the week was, I am (as always) looking forward to the weekend so much more. This weekend's plans include lots of reading, mopping my kitchen floor, baking an apple pie, and 12 miles with the MiT group.

I hope your plans are equally comforting, renewing & exciting :)

Let's kick off the weekend goodness with a Good Friday, shall we?

Good List:

1. Jon. I cannot believe that we've been married almost 2 years. It feels like just yesterday that I was planning my wedding-- the dress, the details... And yet, at the same time I am hard-pressed to remember my life before Jon. This marriage stuff is crazy & mysterious, maddening & wonderful ... ♥
2. Pumpkin Spice Friday!
3. Tomato sandwiches (I think the season is winding down for these babies... farewell my loves!)
4. Connecting with family, even across the miles ♥

5. MacIntosh apples
6. Invigorating breezes through open windows
7. The scent of freshly baked cookies :)
8. "Cleaning out the clutter"... tangible & spiritual.
9. Heart moving, thought provoking posts. (Check out this one, by my sweet friend, Hannah. What mark will we leave on our world?)
10. As an engineer, this quote hits home for me: "Running and science draw on similar traits—stamina, ambition, patience, and the ability to overcome limits." --Wolfgang Ketterle, Nobel Laureate and MIT Professor

Your Turn:What tops your good list this week? Do you have any good (fall-y?) weekend plans?

Wishing you all a wonderful Friday afternoon :)

Challenge II, D15: Running in the Rain

2011-09-15T22:29:00.006-04:00

Source: hitthetrails.wordpress.com via Amy on Pinterest

This morning when my alarm chirped at 4:45 am, I sighed from the depths of my soul.

I've actually been doing pretty well lately-- I think maybe my body has finally adjusted to the earlier wake-up hour-- but this morning I wasn't sure I had anything left to give. Like I told you yesterday, it's been a good week over all... but the "ebbs" have been exhausting to me. ... I feel the mystical creative pull and I can't bear to wait for it to come to fruition. I cannot allow my spirit to rest; every fiber of my being is continually reaching forward... It's been a great creative time-- but an exhausting one.

I was up late writing last night... and then when I got in bed I was too worked up to get to sleep right away. So I lay awake dreaming. I stared at the ceiling and listened to the rain pattering softly on the the skylight in our adjacent master bath, smiling as Baron shifted his warm weight, purring at my feet. And thus it was until I finally drifted off at some unknown hour.

...So this morning it was awfully hard to will myself awake. By the grace of God I made it out of bed & into my running clothes. As I waited for my garmin to load it's satelites, I joined Gracie with my nose pressed to the sidelights of our front door. Peering out into the cold damp darkness. ...Wondering what the morning's miles would hold for me.

Heather and I began running at 5:15. At approximately 5:16 it began to rain. With the wind in our faces, we bent our heads and pushed forward. We were shivering and wet... but determined. As we moved swiftly through the darkness, we discussed our usual gamut of topics: from running (surprise!) to our weekend plans, to our jobs and some future dreams. Sometimes we didn't talk, we just moved forward, quietly supporting and simultaneously drawing strength from the other.

Our 5 mile split was more than a minute better than yesterday's. It seems that the coolness of the rain breathed new life into our legs.

It wasn't until I was back at home & immersed in my typical post-run morning routine: peeling off my wet socks and scooping ground coffee into the coffee maker; sneaking upstairs to kiss my sleeping husband and before hopping into a hot shower.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and paused, wondering.... "Who is this woman?"

I am a work in progress. I am far from perfect, but each day I'm getting a little wiser... stronger... better.

6 months ago, I wouldn't have dreamed this was possible. I've always wanted to make the change, but the first step seemed too much. But here I am. I do, in fact, posses the necessary courage, strength & passion to make the change.
...and to run a marathon.

♥ October 16, 2011 ♥

Challenge II, D14: {Ebb & Flow}

2011-09-14T20:10:00.013-04:00

Some weeks, when Wednesday rolls around I am happily surprised, shaking my head and smiling at the beautiful & inexplicable passage of time.

...This was not the case this week.

I felt every. single. moment of my week until now. ...Which is both a good and bad thing ;)

On one hand, I've been feeling very present-- there's something in the air around here, it's fairly crackling with creativity. I've been drinking it in-- dreaming, watching, writing & storing the multitude of wonders that I cannot begin to understand now away in my heart for another time when they might be revealed to me. ...That is, without a doubt, the good.

...The bad part, of course, is that when I happen to be chained to an obligation that is not....oh, particularly creative or soul feeding, let's say... it feels like, surely, time has come to a stop.

Overall though, the flow of creative energy has won out. Life is good...and the ebb of the "in between" is a chance to refresh for the next high ♥

I hope the week has been wonderful for you all, too. (We're more than halfway to another weekend!)

Here's a little synopsis of what I've been doing, {Wrangling} style....

{Wrangling}

(A weekly round up. Each week I am going to “wrangle” my life's happenings into a post filled with pictures, lists & general tidbits about the past 7 days.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Once I got past that nasty headache business, my week was off to a great start. On Monday evening, I kept a promise I had made to myself earlier in the year and took the plunge and got involved with a Bible study at our church.

We are working through a 10 week study on how to hear God's voice, and I think that it is going to be a valuable experience for me for so many reasons. Of course, I am hoping that I'll walk away with a deeper faith, deeper peace, and a confidence that I can hear Him-- that I can trust him to tell me what He wants me to do with this life (...I realize I probably won't get all the answers... but it's comforting to know that I'm not floundering in the dark :) But I think this is also going to give me the chance to grow closer to some wonderful people. ...I've always loved how comfortable and "at home" I felt in this church, and I feel that this step is going to help me settle in even more.

This week we covered the basics-- Be still. Watch & listen. Journal. Believe.

Yeah.... Pretty sure I'm going to love this :)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tonight, I wish I had 4 more hours in my day, so I could ride out this "creative flow" and get all these words from my head out onto the paper...

I love this feeling.

It's what I live for during the moments of frustration & writer's block.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Yesterday I got the chance to have lunch with my mother... just the two of us. We haven't gotten to do this in quite a while, and I was reminded multiple times just how much I enjoy spending time with her. We spent the hour telling stories, laughing, encouraging, and catching up on life ♥

I've said it before and I'll say it again,"I would be honored to grow up to be like my mother.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Country girl that I am, this song makes me incredibly happy.

Adding this onto my marathon playlist pronto.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My yesterday went a little bit differently than I had expected it to. I had planned to take 2 hours off work for a doctor's appointment, but when the appointment was cancelled a the last minute, I seized the ~~opportunity~~ afternoon ;)

Instead of spending time in a dark waiting room reading magazines, I took myself to Easton, our outdoor mall. I took our wedding rings in for inspection/cleaning/magic....I took myself to Trader Joe's to ogle the produce & "chocolate covered-everythings" while I waited for the rings to be finished (heh. because, frankly, produce makes me happier than jewelry :)... I enjoyed the sunshine.

It was lovely :) ...Just another gentle lesson in 'changing plans'...

Note: this is an old picture, from our honeymoon... but the rings look new like this again:) ... Jon had never had his cleaned or re-plated, and was rather impressed with the difference. ALSO worth mentioning, he told me he found he missed his wedding ring throughout the day.... for a man who never wore a watch before I met him, I figure that's not bad.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Source: anthropologie.com via Amy on Pinterest

Finally, while I am doing my best not to do any *real* shopping before our wine-country trip, I have definitely been window shopping... In fact, it may or may not have taken me twice as long as it should have to write this post because I was playing on Pinterest. ...I don't get half as excited about clothes for any other season, but fall is special. I love cozy sweaters, classic boots, bright scarves and metallic accents. LOVE IT. (This anthro scarf?! Goodness...)

So that's just a little bit of what's rattling around in my mind tonight. ... And with that, I am going to get myself in gear-- I'd like to write some more before I head for bed!

Your turn: How is your week going? Do you window shop like I do? Do you know of any fantastic fall fashions to tell me about (feel free to leave me a link ;)

Challenge II, D13: Weekend Wrap-up

2011-09-12T10:02:00.016-04:00

Happy, happy Monday, friends :)

Before I go any further, I have to say this: Thank you God for Ad.v.il.

Oy.

Waking up with a headache did not give my Monday a very promising start, but I am happy to say that with a cup of coffee and some ibuprofen pulsing through my veins, I am beginning to feel like a human being again. Hallelujah! ♥ Onward & upward!

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend! I was a lazy photographer this weekend, so I'll have to paint the pictures for you with words today :)

I did manage to get one photo though:

I did it! 20 whole miles :) Woohoo!

Heh. Actually, this was a rather dismal run for me. I made a bad decision, and tried a different kind of fuel than I am used to mid-run ... and had stomach cramps the rest of the way. Happily & surprisingly, overall my pace didn't take too big of a hit, and I am so proud that I got my mileage in. Also, I am so, so grateful for my friend Tracy, who walked with me and encouraged me the whole time. Tracy, if you are reading this, you are wonderful-- thank you again!

I spent my Saturday afternoon apple picking (MacIntosh! My favorites!) with my parents, which was awfully nice because I haven't seen them very much lately. It's incredible to me how quickly we can fill our 20 lb bags... I remember it felt like it took a long time when I was tiny ;) I feel like it's really fall now that I've been apple picking! (And you can bet you'll see some apples & "apple-y" desserts in the near future!.... I need to make a pie for my Spectacular September, remember?!)

Saturday night was date night :) Jon & I went out to dinner (always a treat!), and then(!) we finally made it over to the new frozen yogurt shop (Orange Leaf) near us! I have been wanting to go for quite a while, and it was a perfect post-20 mile treat. I wish I had pictures to show you, but (a) it was a self serve joint, and frankly, my cups are never particularly "photo worthy" ;) and (b) it was gone pretty quickly. I got a "strawberry cheesecake" creation with graham cracker crumbs, strawberries & chocolate chips, and Jon got a peanut butter/brownie batter mix with cookie dough, oreo and chocolate sauce on top. ... I'm pretty sure we'll be going back soon ... and often! We brought our ice cream home & snuggled on the couch to watch a movie -- a perfect end to a (practically) perfect day ♥

Sunday was spent worshiping, napping, watching some spectacular thunderstorms & walking (not in the rain, thank goodness!) And to cap off a good weekend, Jon & I had a "Special Sunday Dinner" of smothered pork chops (pork chops covered in a mix of brown sugar, apples & stuffing. ... One of my most favorite fall meals!) Also, yesterday held long moments of reflection & prayer; quiet thanksgiving for brave & faith-filled individuals who have done so much for our country and our freedom.

Today, I am thankful for new beginnings. I am thankful for sunshine & cooler temperatures. I am thankful for a patient & loving husband, and a big God who cares for me & seeks my heart. ...And I am most certainly thankful to be rid of that headache ;)

Your Turn: How was your weekend? What was a highlight for you? What are you thankful for on this Monday? ♥

Challenge II, D12: Good List Friday, volume vi

2011-09-08T18:53:00.010-04:00

Ahh, Friday.... So good to see you again!

I love Fridays for so many reasons. First, it's got the obvious-- 'It's almost the weekend' thing going for it... but also, for me, it's ~~S-bux~~ pumpkin spice latte day, AND my day to sleep in!

And don't even get me started on the loveliness of Friday nights! Friday evening in our house means sweat pants, spaghetti & movies on the couch. ... Which I know may not sound like much (my 20 year old self would be sighing & shaking her head...) -- but it's perfect. A cozy & relaxing way to end a work week; a time of quiet renewal before another great weekend of memory making ♥

I hope your Friday is equally lovely! And I'll let you get back to it, after another installment of Good List Fridays:

Good List:

1. Jon. Sometimes I am completely awestruck that this man loves me, and has chosen me to spend the rest of his life with. I am so blessed.

2. Pumpkin Spice Lattes. "Come to Mama...."
3. Snuggling Gracie close, and feeling her little heart beating. Life is so precious ♥
4. Red Wine
5. Fall-scented candles in mason jars
6. Courage
7. Seriously, nothing beats a pair of worn-in, well loved jeans.
8. This morning when I awoke, our town was blanketed in thick white fog. This provided for a mystical (if slow) drive in to work ;)
9. Encouragement from friends. ...And the way it always comes at the perfect time ♥
10. "There are as many reasons for running as there are days in the year, years in my life. But mostly I run because I am an animal and a child, an artist and a saint. So, too, are you. Find your own play, your own self-renewing compulsion, and you will become the person you are meant to be." - George Sheehan

Happy weekending, friends!

Your Turn: What tops your "Good List" this week? What are your weekend plans? ...I'm running 20 miles & picking my favorite apples (McIntosh!)

Challenge II, D11: Wrangling {Goals}

2011-09-08T12:50:00.015-04:00

It's been a week of transition. And it's obvious to me that (a) Mother Nature thinks so, too and (b) Mother Nature (like me!) is stubborn & does not always deal well with change. This week we have been blessed with cooler weather, but also a lot of gray and rainy skies.

Honestly? I don't mind too much. I love crisp gray fall days, when you can smell the chill in the air and the trees are vibrant against a dark sky. Also, this is perfect weather for hot tea, cozy blankets, pillar candles, kitty snuggling and sweatshirts.

Not bad at all, in my opinion :)

And now here we are, teetering on the cusp of another weekend. I love holiday weekends, and the way the following week seems to fly by afterwards (you know, which is only fair, as the week preceding a holiday always seems to creep by ;) It's been (as always) a good & busy week for us. ...One which I will attempt wrangle into submission via stories, pictures & memories.

{Wrangling}

(A weekly round up. Each week I am going to “wrangle” my life's happenings into a post filled with pictures, lists & general tidbits about the past 7 days.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Our CA trip is coming.... Soon!

Exactly 10 days from now I will be in Northern California with the love of my life, on a trip of a lifetime. And so tonight I celebrated with a glass of wine. (Duh.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Just to keep it real here: I like to be as positive as I can be (in real life & on the blog), but I am most definitely a normal human being. Frustrating & annoying things happen to me all the time.

For example: Here's my Tuesday...

(I am pleased to report that I was not, in fact, harboring a stowaway mosquito...)

And then this morning I missed my mouth & poured piping hot coffee down my cleavage. (I couldn't make this stuff up.) Trying to figure out how to discretely stuff tissues in my shirt to mop it up was, in a word, tricky.

As part of my "woman of grace" initiative, I am working to bounce back quickly in these situations; to smile & move on....One day at a time...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Marathon Training Update:

It's been a rather mellow running week, apart from the race on Sunday. Which has been nice for two reasons :)

First off, I did just run a race on Sunday. An awesome, empowering, exhausting race. I needed some recovery miles after that, for sure.

And secondly, I *gulp* am running 20 miles on Saturday morning. ...Which, needless to say, will blast my weekly mileage well above what it's been before.

I am actually quite nervous about Saturday's 20. Realistically, I know that it's just 2 miles more than the last long run I did. ... But 20 miles sounds incredible long ;) Nerves or no... I know I can do it, and I'm looking forward to reporting back to you later.

As a further update, I was able to identify & set some marathon goals for myself this week, and I'd like to share them with you. I take no credit for the a,b,c tier system, but I think the idea is a fabulous one! Here are my goals for my very 1st marathon:

A: (My feel good, I can't believe I did this goal): Finish the race (upright) with a smile on my face.
B: (My "you go, girl... you surpassed your own expectations' goal) Finish the race in 5:25.
C: (My "Holy *bleep*, NO WAY, THAT'S AWESOME!!!" goal) Finish the race in 5:20.

(Please note: I would prefer to be smiling & upright in *ALL* scenarios!)

Stay tuned to see how it all unfolds :)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

... Speaking of goals, I was having a good time looking through my old posts the other day (tell me I'm not the only one who does this...) and I stumbled upon my "28 Things by Age 28" list. Just for fun, I decided to give a little update (I am about 1/2 way through my 5 year time frame, after all!)

Amy's 28 by 28 (original post here ):

~~Visit Carlisle, PA with J.~~ Completed June, 2010.
Go to San Francisco with J. To be completed September, 2011.
Go to Boston
Go to an all-inclusive Sandals Resort with J (perhaps for our 5th Anniversary?)
Run a marathon To be completed October 16, 2011.
Write out a life plan and start making it happen. An ever evolving process. See below...
I'd really like to attend a Healthy Living Summit one of these years :)
~~Buy a house with J~~ Completed April 1, 2010.
Have a baby
Help out with a Chrysalis Flight
Host a holiday dinner for my family - I DID host the 4th of July celebration this year, but that wasn't really what I had in mind... I plan to check this one off the list in December, 2011.
See my all-time favorite band (AC/DC) in concert.
Do a TTD/ Fearless Bridal portrait session with Kelly.
Go hiking in the Rocky Mountains
Go back to Gatlinburg with J.
Start playing guitar again.
Get involved with a "young adult" bible study. A real one :) I will be participating in a 10 week study entitled "4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice"... starting next Monday!
Run an 8 minute mile. Oy.
Run a sub-2 hour half marathon.... Oy vey
Visit the Napa and Sonoma Valleys-- Tour lots of wineries! To be completed September, 2011.
~~Go to a Country Music Concert :)~~ Completed August, 2010
Go on a roadtrip with J. (This is something he's always wanted to do-- I think it would be fun to go with him!)
Go to Europe.
Keep a garden. Sigh. Currently, I feel like an 8 minute mile is more attainable... but I'd like to keep it on the list of goals!
~~Learn to fold a fitted sheet~~ Check & mark!
~~Bake a cake from scratch~~ Yup. I've made vanilla cupcakes & bohemian wedding cake (a la Jenna at Eat, Live, Run)-- can't wait to make the wedding cake again soon ... it's a pumpkin-y fall treat!
Go see "The Nutcracker" downtown at Christmastime Maybe this Christmas? I'm actually (please don't kill me!) really looking forward to Christmas ~~all ready~~. Going to do a lot of things differently this year ♥
See a Broadway Show

As I was looking through the list, I was really awestruck by the phenomena of shifting priorities... As we grow into the people we were meant to be, it makes perfect sense that our priorities change. And that is in no way a sad thing. It is a good thing. Who am I to think that I can plan all the little details?! (And how painfully boring my life might be if I could!)

I am excited to look back on this list again when I turn 28. To see how much I have accomplished ... but also to reflect on all the things that have been accomplished that I never dreamed of when I developed the list. I created this list 2 years ago, and all ready, some of these items aren't as important to me.

It's a beautiful thing... this crazy life of ours ♥

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"I love this day."

I've been seeing this phrase popping up everywhere this week, and I like to think perhaps the universe it trying to tell me something.

"I love this day, indeed."

Have a wonderful Thursday night, friends :) I'll see you back here tomorrow for another "Good Friday"!

Challenge II, D10: Finally home

2011-09-06T20:39:00.001-04:00

(photo credit)

Be still and know that I am God

Be still and know that I am

Be still and know that I

Be still and know that

Be still and know

Be still

::Psalm 46:10::

So I'm standing in the kitchen tonight, washing dishes from the day and unloading and reloading the dishwasher.

Gracie is chirping at me from her favorite perch on top of the refrigerator, and the oven is rhythmically clicking as our dinner bakes. The timer counts down 15:36, 15:35, 15:34 ...

I hear Jon moving upstairs.

I pause to look out the window in front of me, onto the softly twilit world. I hear crickets singing, and feel a soft, fragrant breeze waft across my face, kissing my eyelashes.

I breathe. In. Out.

And I realize, in this very moment, I am finally home. This is what my heart was aching for all those months when I was searching ... not even knowing what to ask for.

A Perfect peace.

Perfect comfort.

And my heart beats, Thank You, thank You, thank YOU... for this one complex, hard, uniquely wonderful & excruciatingly beautiful life ♥

Challenge II, D9: Weekend Wrap-Up

2011-09-05T20:09:00.010-04:00

Hi friends, and Happy Labor Day --I hope you have had a wonderful holiday weekend!

Well ...My weekend has been something else.
A very good something else :)

I had intended to blog straight through the weekend ... but then life interfered. Each evening, by the time I had a chance to sit still and be quiet long enough to collect my thoughts, my eyelids were drooping... and I wanted to give you the best recap I could, so I postponed-- I promised you quality over quantity in this challenge, after all ;)

It is my pleasure to fill you in on the past 3 days now, with a weekend recap post!

This weekend was a different & relaxing one right from the get-go. As I intimated on Friday, I have gotten in the habit of early morning wake-up calls on Saturdays for MiT (at times, I've been out running as early as 5 am!), and so it was a special treat for me to be able to sleep in on Saturday morning. I woke naturally (around 8), brewed a pot of coffee & whipped up a batch of pumpkin pancakes.

...And then Jon & I languished in our Saturday for the next two hours. One of my favorite things in the world is leisurely weekend brunches with my husband. I love the slow pace, and feeling like we can just relax together & enjoy each others company. ♥

After breakfast, 'I got my booty in gear' and cleaned the house from top to bottom ... and then my excitement won out, and I broke into the fall decorations. Warming my home with golds & reds and the scent of cinnamon is good for my soul. I just need some mums for the porch, and I'll be all set!

Sunday morning I ran the Emerald City half marathon.
... And it was the best "race" I have ever run.

For the first time ever I ran a race for fun... and the difference was incredible.

Instead of nerves, I was chattering all day on Friday about how excited I was. Eventually, the nerves did come, but they never crippled me. The happy excitement won over every time. I went into the run with a goal to run at marathon pace (2:45) ... and I smashed that ... coming in at 2:34. The best part? I had so much to give at the end :) ...Every other half marathon that I've run, I've been absolutely done at mile 11.5. By mile 13, it's always been a battle just to keep lifting my legs ... placing one foot in front of the other. And that never happened this time.

What's even more incredible to me is that my finish time was only about 7 minutes off of my personal best. I think my smile in this picture says it all :)

(photo credit)

I came ... I ran ... I conquered.

And then? ... I napped :)

After a glorious 3 hour nap on Sunday afternoon, Jon & headed over to his sister's house for a Labor Day Party, family style ;) Great food (pulled pork, corn on the cob and blueberry cobbler), drink (blueberry mead?! YUM.) and Lucas snuggling. It was a great night. Even a little rain couldn't spoil our fun ;)

And today? It's been a perfect ending to the long weekend.

Jon took me out for breakfast (more pancakes? Yes, please!), and then I came home & slept off my ensuing "pancake coma" with Gracie, hehe.

It's been a very fall-like day here (in the 60's and gray. LOVE.), so this afternoon I lit my Macintosh apple candle curled up under a blanket with a good book. ...And Gracie foot warmer, obviously ;) Good, good stuff ♥

...I think I may be ready to tackle another work week, after all!

Have a fantastic Monday night, bloggies!

Your Turn: How was your weekend? Do you decorate for Autumn-- and if so, when & how?

Challenge II, D8: Good Friday & Inspiration

2011-09-02T14:52:00.013-04:00

Happy September, friends! ...More importantly, Happy FRIDAY!
(Personally, I had several "false positives" this week-- you know, when you wake up thinking it's *Friday* and it's actually ... um, Wednesday? ...yup, this weekend has been a loong time coming...)

SO, when I last left you, I was really excited to write my Thursday challenge post about Inspiration...what inspires me, who inspires me, and what sets me on fire to write.

And then, last night when I sat down to actually expound on my ideas and 'abracadabra' them into words, I was feeling rather, erm, "uninspired". In fact, I had a major case of writer's block, which rather quickly turned into a very cranky Amy. Blah. Eventually, after 3 different blog posts starts, and 2 hours of staring at a blinking cursor on my computer screen; I decided I was just tired, and gave myself permission to go to bed and "try again tomorrow" :)

I have discovered that there is no way (for me at least) to force inspiration & creation. I'm sure that if I keep searching, I'll be able to find a couple magic ingredients that can jump-start my creative writing brain -- but for now, I am learning to be content with seizing the ideas as they come. It's rarely convenient, but it's a blessing all the same, and I'll work from where I am ♥

Anyhoo ... I hope you all had a wonderful yesterday! Did you do anything special to celebrate the 1st day of September? I must admit that while my heart celebrated the beginning of my favorite month with fervor, I didn't do anything out of the ordinary :) No PSL's for me, as I was ~~typically~~ running late on my way to work. ...I did manage to pin some "fall inspiration" on Pinterest, if that counts ;) However, I plan to welcome in the season full force this weekend, with a top-to-bottom house cleaning, and by bringing out the fall decorations on Monday (if I can wait that long!)

Whew. Can I tell you how grateful I am that this is a holiday weekend coming up?! I know that I don't have too much longer now before the 'Big Vacation'... but my soul is craving a day off to just be still and "catch up with life".

It's funny because as excited as I am about having a day off, I can all ready tell that I am going to have to actively remind myself to slow down. There's a lot I want to do this weekend, but more than the doing, I really want to be present & enjoy every moment. My plan is to have 1 working day (I'm thinking Saturday, after a good night's sleep & leisurely breakfast with Jon -- pumpkin pancakes, perhaps?), and then have 2 days to just 'go with the flow'.

I'm looking forward to telling you all about it, as it unfolds :)

For now, I am thrilled to present you with another installment of 'Good List Fridays'

Good List:

1. Jon ♥ Gosh, I love that man.
2. Coffeeeeeeeee. It has very much been a 2 cup-a-day week :)
3. Having the luxury of being about to take a step back and look at the big picture: how far I've come :)
4. New magazines
5. Holiday Weekends
6. Cleaning the clutter from my house & my mind
7. "California Dreaming..."
8. Morning runs with the ladies!
9. I know in a couple months I will be lamenting the short length of the days and the scarcity of daylight ... but right now I am enjoying the gentle forward creep of the sunsets. I love the sweet warmth & scent of early September nights, and I love the way the lengthening shadows beckon us to come in, come together, and relax at the end of a long day.
10."Your body will argue that there is no justifiable reason to continue. Your only recourse is to call on your spirit, which fortunately functions independently of logic."
- Tim Noakes

And now, just for fun, another list for you! Fitness blogger Gina (over at fitnessista.com) has put together a to-do list at the beginning of each month of tasks that will make the following 30-days especially great. I love this idea, and am creating my own list for September:

"Make September Spectacular":

- Go apple picking
- Bake an apple pie from scratch ♥
- Plant vibrant-colored mums
- Burn "Fall-Scented" candles
- Sleep with the windows open (once it get a bit more temperate... we're getting in to the mid-90's today, yikes.)
- Clean out my closet - put away summer clothes to make room for cozy sweaters & scarves & boots
- Begin strength training (for real this time.) Do push-ups/ sit-ups etc. 2 days a week.
- Start walking with Jon on week days after work.
- Make Pumpkin Chili
- Host a dinner party!

Your Turn: What are your weekend plans? What is one thing you plan to do to make this September the best one yet?

Challenge II, D7: {Wrangling August}

2011-08-31T21:46:00.009-04:00

Happy Wednesday, friends!

Can you believe that we are all ready at the end of August? I (self-proclaimed "Fall-lover" that I am) am not complaining-- merely shaking my head in wonder that the past four weeks flew by quite as fast as they did-- it's a blur I tell you! ...Such is life, I suppose.

...But a glorious blur it has been ;)

I also cannot believe that I am (as of the moment I press "publish") 1/3 of the way through the 21 day challenge! It's been a delight so far, and I cannot wait to see what words will pour out in the later 2/3 of the journey.

As I am sitting down to write tonight, it occurs to me that this may be the first challenge post that I haven't had completely planned out. Of course, that doesn't mean I don't have any ideas: I've had all sorts of ideas rattling around in my brain all day ;)

And so tonight I'm bringing out an old favorite: a Wednesday Wrangling Post, which I feel lends itself quite nicely to the beautiful chaos that has been my week so far.

Let's dive on in!

(A weekly round up. Each week I am going to “wrangle” my life's happenings into a post filled with pictures, lists & general tidbits about the past 7 days.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Although it's been (surprisingly) busy (read: a project that we thought would take 1 day has now taken 3 ... and counting) week... it's been a really good one! Somehow, after an 18 miler & a "non-over-abundance" (did you get that?) of sleep this past weekend, I hit the ground running on Monday morning ... and I haven't stopped since. I feel like I am giving 110%, and going to bed exhausted, but completely at peace. ... And that's a great feeling.

Still, I am looking forward to the mellow respite that the a long 3-day weekend promises. While I do have some plans (i.e.: 1/2 marathon in Sunday morning, family Labor Day celebration on Sunday night; both of which I am sure you'll hear more about later!) I am actively trying to leave the rest of the weekend open. It's going to be a good one though ... that much I know is true.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Um yeah. So not to toot my own horn (*toot, toot!*) but this peach butter tastes awesome. I cannot recommend Julie's recipe enough.

Try it, you'll love it. (Also, it will make your house smell warm & spicy & fall-y while it is cooking down... Yummmmmm.)

...and if you're like me, you'll be eating it out of the ~~crock pot~~ jar with a spoon....

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(photo credit)

The leaves are changing colors ...

Our morning runs are crisp & dark once again ...

Pumpkin spice lattes are back at Starbucks ...

.... I'm in heaven.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Last but not least, I was nominated by my sweet friend Hannah (check out her blog, Culture Connoisseur!) for the 'Versatile Blogger Award'.

Thank you so much, Hannah :) I am flattered, and so happy that the blog world introduced me to you! ♥

In order to accept the award, I have to tell you 7 things about myself, and then pass on the award to other deserving bloggers!

7 things about me:

1. I am an engineer. This does not in any way equip me to deal with real life engineering problems like packing the car or loading the dishwasher ;)

2. I hate doing laundry. Loathe it, in fact. I wait until I am down to my last pair of socks before I force myself to tackle the mountain of clothes in my clothes basket.

3. I am a mac.

4. I have been to a metallica concert.

5. ...I actually love the heels of bread. They make the best toast!

6. I sleep best when there's a warm kitty at my feet ♥

7. I think technology is fantastic, but nothing beats a good old fashioned, hand written letter. I keep a box of special letters by my bed, and read them on nights when I need a little lift.

And now, I am honored to pass this award on to some other wonderful bloggers. Like Hannah, I'll pick 5:

Heidi's Big Adventure

Running My Life

Daisy Girl

Amelia Grazia

A Change of Pace

These ladies are absolutely lovely, and they inspire me! To me, each of them is a perfect example of a versatile blogger :)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And now if you'll excuse me, I need to go snuggle Gracie, who has been patiently ~~sleeping on my foot~~ waiting with me while I blog. I'll be back tomorrow with a post about inspiration...

Have a fantastic Wednesday night -- Happy 'Last of August'!

Challenge II, D7: 'All American'

2011-08-30T18:32:00.006-04:00

I admit that I have never been much of a sports fan.

Don't get me wrong. I rock a good tailgate party with the best of 'em, and I'll happily tag along to any sporting event that you'd like to take me to -- but if left to my own devices, I'll rarely watch a game (I average about 1 game a year - the Superbowl ;).

Honestly, (and please don't think less of me for saying this!) I don't *really* even understand the rules of football, other than, as explained to me during a casual game in college "get the ball & run like hell to the other side of the field-- without getting tagged or tackled."

So I guess what I mean to say is that while I may not be a "pure sports fan" (for the sake of the sport itself) I have always appreciated & loved the social aspect :)

... And baseball games have always held a special place in my heart.

I'm not sure exactly what it is, but baseball games have always had a certain romance to them.

They evoke memories of sweet summer days, and the characteristic scent of peanuts + fried food + cotton candy bring back memories of hot August nights in my childhood.

When I set foot in a ballpark and something in my heart just sighs -- heavy with the sweet nostalgia of homecoming; set aflame to the beat of simpler times and classic Americana.

Last night Jon & I got the chance to go to a Columbus Clippers (Central Ohio's Minor League Baseball team) game with my company. And while we had a great time laughing with my co-workers (& Jon had a good time discussing video games with a pint-sized acquaintance --oh, I SO want boys someday ;) ... more than as a social event -- this was a fantastic date.

Sometimes the best part of being out in a crowd is 'being alone together', if you know what I mean. We munched hot dogs (dime-a-dog night) & sipped some of (I'm sure) the last 'Summer Shandy' of the year; we held hands and whispered & laughed together. We cheered & boo-ed and joked with the people I spend 25% of my week with--but don't often get to kick back with :)

And the weather couldn't have been better for us. When the game ended at 10, it was a crisp, clear night in the mid-60's. Perfection.

"The one constant through all the years has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and what could be again."
- James Earl Jones in Field of Dreams (1989)

Challenge II, D6: "The art of weekending"

2011-08-28T17:33:00.009-04:00

I'm not sure if you have noticed or not, but there are two very distinctive weekend personalities. There are the people who watch the minute hand click to closing time on Friday and take off... ready to party the night away and spend every second of the weekend doing -- flitting effortlessly (& with endless energy) from one activity to the next. Then there are those who, at the close of the work week, leisurely head home, change into their comfiest clothes, and settle into the couch to spend the weekend not doing... just because they can ;)

Me? I like to think that I dabble a little bit in both worlds. I enjoy a Sunday afternoon nap just as much as the next person, and love spending a Saturday afternoon reading... but I'm on the go quite a bit, too. What is important to me is to soak up every moment of the weekend, but to be able to sit in bed on Sunday night completely at peace and renewed.

It is an art I am working on perfecting.

But this weekend? It was pretty perfect :)

You all ready know about my yesterday --truly, 18 miles was pretty much all I did... Ah! With the exception of making this for dinner... yummy! Post-run carbo-loading, anyone? (Um, and really, peeling a butternut squash is a workout in it's own right... Hah!)

So now without further ado I'll catch you up on today!

Today I:

* used & washed my frying pan 3 times.

* went to church & participated in heart moving worship

* hugged my sister ♥

* chopped about a million peaches

* swooned at the warm scent of 'fall' emanating through the house as the batch of peach butter cooked.

* roasted my first chicken on a bed of potatoes and carrots

* set the table for a lovely Sunday dinner for two. (When I was growing up, Sunday dinners were always a special meal during the week, enjoyed at the dining room table. I hope to keep that tradition for my own family. ♥)

* snuggled Baron and Gracie often

* enjoyed a glass of white wine with Jon to toast to another good week

* lingered in each moment as long as I could

* snuggled on the couch with Jon & the last of the haagen daas (!) after dinner

* ended the weekend deeply peaceful, and deeply thankful for the opportunity to do it all again starting tomorrow.

Your turn: How was your weekend, friends? Do you have any special "Sunday traditions" to start your week on the right foot?

Challenge II, D5: Run with me!

2011-08-27T17:49:00.009-04:00

18 mile club

Hey, hey friends! I hope your Saturday has been a wonderful one for you -- equal parts exciting & relaxing :)

This post is coming at you a little late tonight because I have been having a hard time keeping my eyes open for more than 30 minutes at a time. Seriously. So. Tired.

Tonight's post is going to be picture heavy... but sometimes it's more fun to get the story through the pictures.

Today I woke at 5:15 am.

...And kept company by my favorite little friend, I began what has become my Saturday morning ritual. Dress, Eat, Coffee, Fill water bottles, pack 'snacks' for the trail, pull hair into ponytail & head out the door. It's a beautiful thing, and after 13 weeks of training, it's a routine that is becoming second nature to me.

At 6:30 am I met up with my MiT group, and we headed out to the trail.

Each run has a beauty & a challenge all it's own. This week's run was incredibly hard for me mentally, but it also included moments of breathtaking beauty, like this picture I snapped of the sunshine on the water at Antrim Park.

3+ hours later, we were done; ready to write another successful training run into our archives. Even when it hurts, or when I am frustrated & mentally 'not in the game', or when I feel like I have nothing let to give; it's such a blessing to me. I am humbled and awed at what my body can do, and that I've been given a chance to pursue this dream of mine.

♥ 10.16.2011. ♥

Challenge II, D4: Good Friday Happenings

2011-08-26T17:52:00.008-04:00

And Happy Friday to you, friends!

I don't know about you, but for me it feels like this week has just flown by. It's both exhilarating and calming to be on the cusp of another weekend. Now, I don't want to get ahead of myself, but this is looking like its going to be a really great one.

In the plans:

* Peach butter!! (via Savvy Julie!)
* I have some great dinners to cook up, too -- Yay, meal planning! (Roasting my 1st cornish hen this weekend! Squee!!)
* Sonoma / San Francisco Planning (Our trip is almost upon us, and I am getting more excited by the day!)
* 18 miles tomorrow morning with MiT (which I am disgustingly excited about, hehe...)
*... and on a not-unrelated note, a blog post coming at you tomorrow that I am also crazy excited about :)
* Possible apple picking tomorrow (Gala)
* Church on Sunday morning ♥ I haven't gone to worship in a couple weeks, and returning after any length of absence always feels like coming home...

So, bring on the weekending! But before we get there, it is a good Friday, after all... and you know what that means:

Good List:
1. Jon. I'm excited to get to spend time with my best friend after a busy week!
2. Inspiration...

3. Trader Joe's salsa. Yum, yum, yum.
4. Favorite books that you read over, and over and over again. ... And that you fall a little more in love with each time.

5. My lunchtime treat today was to take myself to my favorite Uptown Westerville Coffee Shop for what is quite possibly the best fall drink out there. ... And I don't say that lightly. Pumpkin Chai ... I think you are a missing piece of my soul.
6. Laurie passed her nursing boards! Wahoo!! Laurie, RN has such a nice ring to it :)
7. "Superwoman days". You know those days when you get everything checked off your to-do list? They are a rare and precious commodity... and so worth the wait.

8. Good hair days (heh... which, for me, are also rare & precious commodities.)
9. Girlfriends
10. "Man’s extremity is God’s opportunity. Unshakable faith is faith that has been shaken." ~ Unknown

Your turn: Any good weekend plans? Spill 'em... Did the past 7 days fly by for you, too? What was the highlight of your week?

Challenge II, D3: Scenes from the Kitchen

2011-08-25T19:57:00.006-04:00

Today has been a really good day :)

And it culminated this evening when I marched home from work, put on my proverbial apron (note to self: buy apron) and got busy in the kitchen :)

About once a week, I like to treat myself and cook a really involved dinner -- the more peeling & chopping the better! This week was all ready destined to be a good week for me because I finally disciplined myself to sit down on Sunday afternoon and sketch out a meal plan for the next 7 days-- and the plan contains not one, but 3(!!) such meals (full disclosure: I am terrible at meal planning. This may be the first time when I have actually been successful with it. It's something I am working on ;)

Tonight's creation was "Mama Pea's Green & Red Lentil Enchiladas" from from her wonderful new cook book!

It's no secret that cooking is one of my love languages. It's a way I can give back to those I love, that, at the same time, brings me incredible peace.

I love the whispery swish of a sharp knife cutting through onion ; the characteristic click of the oven as it heats ; the satisfying sizzle of chopped vegetables hitting melted butter in the skillet. (Don't even get me started on the scent of caramelizing onions in butter. Mercy.) (Also, note to self: add cast iron skillet to Christmas list... along with donut pan and aforementioned apron :)

I love the vibrance of chopped fresh vegetables (I've always thought jalapenos and tomatoes were especially beautiful). And I love the warmth that emanates from the kitchen when dinner is on the way, both literally and figuratively.

I love that when Jon keeps me company in the kitchen when I cook we always circle back around to conversations about family. (It just makes sense.)

I never dreamed I would enjoy this classic aspect of being a "grown up" so much. And I am honored that somehow this has become my sacred initiative: to feed my family, body & soul.

You can have your spa-like bathrooms and romantically lit patios (and the thought of both makes my heart thump!)...

But as for me, my refuge will always be my kitchen.

Challenge II, D2: A Change of Plans

2011-08-24T20:50:00.006-04:00

The main problem with being a classic "Type A" (which, if you haven't figured out by now, I most definitely AM) is that life rarely follows a formula. And it's even more of a rarity that life will follow your plans 100% of the time. ...And if there's one thing we "Type A's" don't do well, it's budgeting in some breathing room for those inevitable curves in the road.

However, I would contend that some of the best things in my life came about because of a change in plans :) And the "Type A" in me will just have to put that thought on her list; learn it, own it, and love it.

Today has been a perfect example of the universe reminding me that I cannot plan everything out; and of God reminding me He's still in charge, and it's all good.

The day just started out with a delightful change of plans for me. It began at 4:45 am with a spectacular thunderstorm, and, consequently the delay of our group's planned 5 mile run. This meant that I was able to crawl back into bed and snuggle with Jon & the kitties for another 2 hours. Heaven.

And this evening my plans to cook a multi-step vegetarian feast took a detour when my friend Heather invited me to join her to make up for our missed morning miles. 5 hot, sweaty, exhausting miles later, (I promise to never sugar-coat running for you. It is wonderful, but some days are really hard) the last thing I wanted to do was crawl home and spend a couple hours in the kitchen. So, instead, I crawled home & ate a popsicle, took a nice long shower to wash off the 2 tons of sweat that had accumulated on my body (blech), and now I'm munching on a couple pieces of BBQ chicken pizza that Jon saved for me and spending some quality time with my favorite blogging buddy, Gracie. And this is just lovely. I am so proud that Heather and I persevered this evening in less-than-ideal running conditions. And while preparing an elaborate meal lifts my heart and brings me peace, tonight I think my soul was craving some time to just sit and be quiet.

And so I will oblige it.

I think often of the woman I want to be... and if I could sum it up in one word, it would be this: grace. I want to be the woman who exudes calm & comfort. The woman who is capable and un-flappable. A woman you just want to be with. And I know that in order to become this woman I need to let go. I need to dream and plan, but then step back and say, "I've given this my best, what will be will be."... And mean it. I need to step out from the shadow of my own expectations, so that I can rejoice in the beauty of reality.

I need to let go. Unclench my iron grip on lists and plans, and hold open my hands for the blessings to come.

I've always loved this quote, and it seems only appropriate that I share it with you tonight:

"Everything happens for a reason, people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they’re right, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together."
- Marilyn Monroe

Your Turn: What is something in your life that hasn't turned out exactly how you might have expected it... but in it's own right, much better than you could have dreamed?

Challenge II, D1: Comfort

2011-08-23T19:36:00.007-04:00

(Pardon the dusty keyboard. Yikes.)

Happy Tuesday, friends! Welcome to day 1 of my new challenge series! In lots of ways, this has been a good day: great run with my girls this morning, time for devotions (it's been hard to sit down to devotions in the morning with the early runs. When it comes down to shower vs. devotions, my spirit would prefer the latter, but my colleagues, the former. You're welcome, Mr.boss-man.) and a good breakfast (oatmeal... loving this cooler weather!) But as the day progressed other "not so good" things started piling up, one on top of the other, and by the end of the day I was just tired...

(I must say that I am feeling very blessed to not have been more affected by this crazy earthquake that the east coast dealt with today.... I felt it, but that was the extent. My heart is with all those dealing with the outcome of that event tonight...)

And so I did what any ~~girl~~ one would do: I came home & called a girlfriend, poured myself a big glass of milk, and busted out the jojos. ;)

And now here I am ~~cookies in hand~~, wrapped in a blanket, kitties close by, playing some of my favorite relaxing music and writing. And I feel worlds better. I think I'm beginning to master this art of 'comfort'.... ♥

As I've gotten older, one of the concepts I have been most thrilled & fascinated to learn is that of 'comfort'. I love the fact that comfort is such a personal phenomena, and I love even more that it's a fluid concept that shifts and changes form for each person as time goes on.

For most of us, out first definition of comfort was probably falling asleep in our mothers' arms. As we grew up and our knowledge of the universe expanded, our definition grew to include things like "worn-in jeans, downy blankets, and hot cocoa" (among other things).

And while I hold all these things to be truth, as far as what comfort is-- I have come to know something else, as well: that above and beyond any tangible thing, comfort is what make a house a home.

I love that my life is a healthy mix of social nights out & quiet nights in. I love to go out and be loud with my girlfriends, on the nights when the stories and the wine and giggles flow freely. And that's one kind of comfort, for sure: a comfort found in being absolutely free to be yourself. But I also (equally fiercely!) love the quiet nights in , filled with bottomless cups of hot tea, plates of homemade cookies, sleepy kitties & snuggling on the couch with my man.

It is here, at home, that I am most at peace; it is here where I can finally allow the weight of the world and the stress of the work day roll off my shoulders.

During the second half of my "college life", I was moving every 3 months as a co-op student. Moving was a great experience for me not only because it took me to new places, but because it forced me out of my comfort zone in so many ways. And while some people might argue that moving every 3 months is detrimental to ones sense of comfort & self because 'you never have enough time to put down any roots' ... I would argue that moving every 3 months allowed me to branch out, and, perhaps more importantly, that my roots were firmly planted to begin with. Also, undeniably, moving every 3 months gave me a better sense of what "home" really was for me.

Since Jon & I moved into this house at the end of last March, this is the house that I've lived in the longest (outside of my parents home, where I spent 18+ years!) Our house is not the biggest on the street, and our flower beds are far from perfect, but it is cozy and perfect & ours. I remember lying awake on our air mattress the first night we had the house, listening to the cats explore their vast new domain & and Jon's soft, regular breathing. I didn't sleep well that night -- I couldn't. My brain was positively racing with the promise & possibilities of this new house. This is the house we will learn how to be married in. This is the house we will bring our babies home from the hospital to. This is the house we will live in as we chase our dreams, each day getting closer and closer to making them a reality. This is our home.

It is my personal promise that I will strive to bring this feeling of welcome & comfort to anyone who steps through our door.

I am a homebody, and I am not ashamed of it.

Rather, I am proud.

Good List Monday & Challenges

2011-08-22T20:56:00.010-04:00

Hey hey, friends! Happy Monday to you!

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. As always, mine was way too short, but very nice. Jon's best-friend-since-forever friend Ben was in town, and on top of visiting with him we spend a good chunk of time with family. ...Oh yeah, and I ran 16 miles somewhere in there, too ;)

Anyway, I didn't get a chance to put up my Friday Good List at the end of last week, so I thought it would be a nice way to start the week off (it's looking like this week is going to be chock full of good stuff, so I'm not at all worried about having enough to pull together another list this Friday.) Sometimes life is too good to be confined to one list, you know?

So, tonight I am going to give you a good list to sum up my last week+ weekend+ today (whew), but before I do that, I want to tell you about a new challenge I am giving myself.

I'm bringing back the 21 day challenge.

Last year I challenged myself to take one picture a day and blog about it, and I thought it was a lot of fun. So this summer I am bringing it back, with a little twist: this year it's going to be more of a 21 day writing challenge! I want to work on developing my blogging skills to write short sweet anecdotal posts that I can take from brain --> publish in about an hour. If you haven't noticed, I tend to be a bit... uhm, verbose... and I think it will be freeing to challenge myself to get a little something out there every day. If at any time I feel like I might be starting to sacrifice quality for quantity, I'm going to stop... or maybe just take a day or so off to freshen up ;) So, in a nutshell: I'm going to blog every day for the next 21 days, in the process taking more pictures and (I hope) maybe finally resurrecting some of my writing from the "post graveyard."

I'm really looking forward to this, and I hope you'll come join me!
... Tune in tomorrow :)

And for tonight,

Good List:
1. Jon. We had some amazing heart-to-hearts this weekend. I swear, I cannot talk to anyone quite the same way I talk to my husband. He speaks right to my heart.
2. LAURIE PASSED THE NCLEX! Baby sister is a bona-fide RN :) I am absolutely glowing with happiness for her ♥

3. My 16 mile run on Saturday went wonderfully. And now there is absolutely no doubt that "Oh my gosh, I am actually going to do this thing." I am going to run a marathon, Woohoo!
4. Today's weather was absolutely gorgeous. Sunny and in the mid-70's. Perfection. Thank you, God!
5. Lunchtime walks (the picture at the very beginning of this post was taken during my 20 minute stroll at noon today!)

6. Retail therapy with Laurie. On Saturday, while Laurie was in town to take her exam, she and I met up to go shopping. I bought a book (The Help!) for my upcoming vacation, and amiably tagged along to clothing stores while Laurie searched for a new dress. At H&M I had to try on this little number-- it was just calling me from the hanger. And it fit like a glove! ...A very tight glove. I put the dress back without any regrets, but not before I happily snapped a picture to memorialize the moment.

7. I think that perhaps one of my greatest lessons in life is that almost anyting can be enjoyable if you allow yourself plenty of time to go slowly and enjoy it stress-free. Case in point: grocery shopping. Tonight Jon had the boys over for games, and so I took myself on a date to Trader Joe's. I spent a good hour and a half wandering the aisles and swooning over colorful produce & exotic sounding cheeses (Honey goat gouda?! Yes, please!) I emerged with 4 full bags, and one very full & happy heart :)
8. "Old favorites". Books, jeans, movies & childhood comfort foods-- they're all good.

9. I hate to get all "fallfallfallfall" on you, but the cool bite in the air and the lingering scents of wood fires in our neighborhood, coupled with the early sunsets and changing leaves has me pining for my favorite season. I. Can't. Wait. The newest potterybarn catalog has a multiple page spread devoted to all things fall, and you can bet it sets this heart a-flutter :)
10.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

Great words spoken by a great man :)

Your Turn: What tops your Good List for last week/this past weekend? Are you an 'Autumn Addict" like me? What's your favorite season & why?

Miles to Me

2011-08-15T22:09:00.012-04:00

"The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become."
-Charles Dubois

Happy Monday night, friends :) I hope that your week has been wonderful to you so far; and that Monday has treated you kindly. I hope your ‘last week’ was a good one, too! Filled with sunshine, new vices (uhm, I totally just discovered the show "Damages" ... and I'm HOOKED) & farmer's market goodies (you can absolutely taste the difference in "fresh from the garden produce") and punctuated by quiet, peaceful, lunch-break picnics... my past week has been a good one for sure.

...With, perhaps, the exception of this pesky post that has been hanging over my head for the past couple weeks.

I'd just like to take a minute to say (and I know I'm preaching to the choir here): sometimes being a blogger is hard. Like, really hard. A blog is a journal of sorts, meaning that first and foremost you are writing for yourself -- but it's also an online journal that is meant to be shared --read by others. And sometimes, that means applying a filter. A filter to preserve the sanctity of a relationship: whether it be a marriage, a friendship, or an unspoken treatise with your own spirit. I've been struggling for the past couple weeks especially over the phrase "year of honesty"... which I loftily promised to all of you way back in January.

Perhaps I should have begun by apologizing... because there's been a huge heartache that I've been battling for months now... and I couldn't for the life of me figure out how and when … and if... to share. (To quash any rumors: my family is fine. I am healthy. My marriage is a blessing that I give thanks for every day, and God is so good... even in the midst of my struggles.)

Writing has always provided catharsis for me, and so it seemed natural to me that I would write about it. It was perfect in theory: I would write about it and put it behind me... shed a few tears perhaps, but pick myself up and move forward with purpose. And so I wrote.... (pages and pages which will never even make it to the "post graveyard") and I prayed. ...And I waited.

And for an awfully long time, I waited in silence. I don't know if I was asking the wrong questions, asking from the wrong place, or if perhaps, the silence itself was the answer. Maybe it was.

At any rate, I'm sure it probably seems like I'm rambling now... but all this to say, writing this post brought all this back to the forefront. And it's back in the forefront because my marathon journey has provided a startling resolution-- and I'm trying to discern how best to give my story justice. Do I need to spill forth everything in order to make the conclusion more satisfying? ... Especially if, despite my best efforts, in the unpolished telling of the story I say something that could hurt someone I care about? Will this really be something I am proud of? Something I can honestly say I put out into the world to make it a better place? (Which may sound trite... but really? Why do any of us blog? It is to fulfill a longing of our heart to create... and an equal longing on our heart to reach out and connect with others.)

My answer? ... No. (Thus the posting delay and multiple drafts sitting on my desktop...)

Romantic as it may be -- ultimately, my redemption will never come from 'spilling my guts' in a blog post. Actually, I tried that in January. ... and while my final effort is one that I am quite proud of, the post I published was a censored & watered down version of reality ... penciling in the happy ending I longed for when, in fact, my heart was not ready to let go and make it a reality.

No, my redemption came, ultimately, when I recognized it was okay to love myself, even in my imperfections. Peace came when I allowed myself to recognize the truth of the situation... grieve , and say, "It's okay, Amy. You're okay. I forgive you."

But, let's start at the beginning:

At the end of last year I was pretty depressed. I believe perhaps it was the culmination of a lot of little things at once -- but in the end, I don't think it matters why. The truth of the matter is that suddenly I was brought to my knees my an aching desire that nothing could fill. And, coming swiftly on the heels of that desire, a deep, searing guilt. I felt incredibly selfish, and dared not speak of my longings to others, for fear that they would judge me. ... or quite frankly (& ironically), tell me to grow up.

And so it was that I plodded along, with a heavy heart, through some of the darkest months in my recent history (as I recall, middle school was no picnic, but I survived that and have been working diligently to forget it ever since :) I didn't see it then, but I recognize now that dealing with this gave a tremendous beating to my self esteem. Eventually, you heart starts believing what your brain is telling it... and mine was telling me that I was selfish, immature, and worthless; that I never finished what I started, and worse: perhaps I never would.

Sometimes it takes something radical to pull us out of the pit-- a radical change, a radical love, a radical promise. And that's what running this marathon became for me: a radical change, a radical love, a radical promise.

Not that I realized it at first, of course. Quite frankly, the only thing on my mind the day I signed up was, "I really need something to do to take my mind off this other stuff..." I knew it was going to be the most challenging endeavor I'd ever taken on. And-- truly? I kind of wanted it to hurt. While I wanted so badly to believe that I could do it, there was a part of me that counted this as my penance. At the time I felt overwhelmed by my failures & shortcomings... and I desperately needed this to be my discipline. I knew it was going to be good for me... but I KNEW I wasn't particularly going to enjoy it.

...And then?...

I DID.

It started when I fell head over heels in love with my running group. The way these people care for each other is absolutely breathtaking. Whether it's in homemade pb&j's served with a smile after long runs, kind words of encouragement throughout the week, or running a couple miles on your day off so that your friend doesn't have to run alone-- this is Community. I was able to join a weekday morning running group, and the ladies I run with have been a special blessing to me.

So, I was loving the group... loving the running (which was a feeling I was scared I would never get back...) And slowly but surely, I gained the courage to fall in love with me again, too.

I am my own worst critic-- and that's something I've always known. But it occurs to me that in recent years, I've been critiquing more than I've been crediting. Running a marathon allows you ample opportunities to critique -- that's part of the beauty of running, an intensely personal sport-- but it also allows ample opportunities for awe. My body can do SO much more than I had ever dreamed. And, perhaps even more importantly for me: my mind can do more than I ever dreamed. I am capable of rising above negative self talk that says, "You're too slow. You're carrying a few extra pounds and you're out of shape. There's no way you can run these miles." I am capable of sheltering & kindling the fire in my heart that burns with the truth,"Oh, yes I can."

I always used to think that I was in the best shape of my life when I was running with the high school cross country team (ulp. 11 years ago...)-- but now I know better: with MiT not only am I running farther than I have ever run before in my life... my approach toward body image and exercise are better than they've ever been.

I knew running a marathon was going to change my life, but I had no idea how much. I had no idea of the changes would rock my world in the months preceding my 26.2 mile trek to the finish line. Today, I am proud to say that I have logged over 200 training miles in my quest toward self discovery. ...And by the time I cross the finish line on October 16, I will have logged many more. And with each step I run, I know I am moving closer & closer to becoming the person I was created to be. I know with absolute certainty that this is what I am supposed to be doing now. It sure isn't easy (I tell you with conviction that running 14 miles was the hardest thing I have ever done. EVER.), but, you know? The most satisfying rewards are those you work the hardest for.

And so, what started as a punishment has become a blessing. And, keeping promises to myself, I keep running; faithfully logging those miles.

Miles to me.

"The true runner is a very fortunate person. He has found something in him that is just perfect."

George Sheehan

My Sunday in Photos

2011-08-07T16:22:00.006-04:00

I always suspected that my soul would feel right at home at an outdoor farmer's market.

Today, my suspicions were validated.

Not only did my soul feel right at home, my soul sang with joy.

Nowhere does my heart find more peace than in the country sunshine; reveling in the simple, unadulterated, breathtaking beauty of nature.

Happy Sunday, friends.

PS: I am about 3/4 of the way through my running post. It has actually evolved into something that I hadn't expected, and while I am very proud of it, and I think it will probably be one of my favorite pieces to date ... well, I probably don't have to tell you, the "real-est" pieces are the most exhausting (if rewarding) to write. It's coming soon, I promise ;)

Good List Fridays: volume iii

2011-08-04T21:56:00.012-04:00

New MiT shirt. I'm bad at taking self portraits, but the part you can't see reads:" Change your life, one mile at a time." Love this concept... and it's certainly proved true for me ♥

Happy Friday, friends!

And happy August?! How did that happen? I had just lulled myself into complacency thinking that although the tv & radio are innundated with back to school commercials, the retail seasons are always at least a month in advance. ... and in fact, it's just that time is sneaking past me :)

I hope you all had a wonderful week. I am (as usual) singing Friday praises and looking forward to the weekend. Let's do a little Good List-y recap of the week, shall we?

Good List
1. Jon. Who is, and will always be, one of the coolest people I know. I'm excited to have him back next week (i.e.: Jon has a break from being on call for a couple weeks :)

2. Last night while Jon was playing volleyball with some friends from work, I spent the evening doing completely "Amy-like" things: I cooked dinner and cranked up some jazz music, poured myself a glass of wine, and just sat and let my mind be at peace. How my how my soul needed this night!

3. Happy text messages. Little sister is doing just fine in the big world :)
4. Striving to do one thing a day that scares me. I don't do this often enough. It makes me feel invincible.

5. New sneakers.
6. Soft, damp nights punctuated by the song of cicadas. This is quintessential August.

7. These. Sweet heavens. 'How Sweet Jessica' sure knows what she's doing ....
8. Dreaming of peaches ... and peach butter.
9. Fabulous 14. {The running post is coming your way tomorrow!}
10.

"Living a great love story is like prepping for a marathon. Most people show up out of shape and expect it to work. It won't." - Donald Miller

(I love everything about this quote. ...and it inspires me to reread one of my favorite books, Miller's "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.")

Your Turn: What tops your 'Good List" this week? How would you describe a "perfectly YOU-like" evening? ♥

Good List Fridays, Volume ii

2011-07-29T13:30:00.001-04:00

This kitty never fails to amaze me. What a silly girl ...

...I know, right?!... Hang on to your hats: I'm posting for the second time in 2 days! :) ...

Happy Friday, friends! I hope you've all had a wonderful week :)

I've had a busy (as always) but good one, although I am definitely counting it as a blessing that I have 2 days of respite before another Monday rolls around.

It is with great pleasure that I welcome you to the second installment of "Good List Fridays".

Good List
1. Jon.

2. Chocolate milk (I'm loving dark chocolate almond milk!). Best. post-run treat. ever.

3. It's that time of year again... Time for the State Fair! I LOVE the fair. The sounds, the smells, the sights & the tastes (roasted corn & funnel cake? Don't mind if I do...) It's an essential component of summertime for me. ...Now just to convince my husband to go with me... This conversation actually took place: Amy:"I'm upping the ante: if you take me to the State Fair, I'll do dishes for a week!" Jon:"We'll see..." ...I think I'll wear him down yet!

4. Nerdy running moment of the week: I am ridiculously excited about my new fuel belt. I may or may not have worn it around the house for a while on Monday evening. ... In my defense, it gets really tiring to carry a handheld water bottle after 10 miles...

5. This week has calmed down enough (or perhaps I've adapted to the new pace?) that I'm back in the kitchen. Preparing dinner every night is therapeutic for me. All is right with the world again.

6. Yeah. ... So I'm running 14 miles on tomorrow morning. 14 miles. This is huge for me, physically, mentally & spiritually. This will be the farthest I've ever run. And while I'm crazy excited, I'm also scared to death. Assuming I live through it, I plan to write about my experiences in marathon training sometime soon :) (Feel free to send positive thoughts & prayers my way tomorrow morning from about 6:30 - 9:30 am ET ...)

7. The nights when I am absolutely on fire to write. Sometimes I go for weeks with just a tiny, flickering flame that I'm struggling to keep lit... but then something clicks and the words flow freely. Last night I poured my heart and soul into this post. ...This is my favorite kind of 'work' ...

8. Charcoal grills, sunshine & ice cold beer.

9. Taking chances. This week I'm making some big, bold moves. ... Hoping to fill you in soon ♥

10. "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~ Mark Twain

Your Turn: What tops your list of "Good Things" this week?

Shine

2011-07-28T22:00:00.000-04:00

"Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other. "
~ Carol Saline

canoe trip, circa 2005

This is Laurie.

She is my best friend, and my little sister.

July, 1989

I met Laurie when I was three years old, and it's safe to say that my life has not been the same since.

"Teddy Bear Tea", circa 1991

The beauty of having a sister is that you always have someone to play with... and the beauty of having a little sister is that, at least until a certain age, you get to call the shots & make up the rules for the game.

Laurie was always up for whatever I suggested. Sometimes we would put on our long skirts and bonnets & go on "pioneering adventures" in our backyard, our back deck becoming our covered wagon as we ventured into the unknown, inevitably encountering wild animals and nursing each other back to health after a bout with the dreaded scarlet fever.

... Sometimes we would put on our pretty dresses and sling white gauzy mosquito netting over our heads and perform wedding ceremonies.

Sometimes we would simply sit together and tell stories.

"Biking" together, circa 1991

I've heard it said that the love of sisters is a "volatile love"... and I know that it's true. We were in no way "atypical siblings" ... and we frequently drove each other nuts. I think because we were girls, that added in a little bit of (mostly) healthy competition into the mix as well. Laurie knows what makes me tick ... and she also knows what ticks me off (she always has ;).

But at the end of the day, I love her fiercely. I feel her joy intensely, and her pain acutely. I would walk through fire for this girl. ... and I know she'd do the same for me.

She's always been musical! Circa 1991

Laurie has always had a way of nurturing and bringing out my creativity (and it is here that I assure you that this post is coming late not because I lacked inspiration, but rather because I lacked time :).

With Laurie I was free to let my imagination roam... to let my words carry me away.... to free myself and believe what my heart wanted to believe. In recent years she has continued to inspire me creatively. For example: she encouraged me to go for it when I was considering starting my blog, and helped me to come up with the name "Amy Around the Corner". I may have mentioned that I am (in fits & starts) writing a novel -- Laurie was the first person I told, and I think that she's just as excited about it as I am.

This past Christmas she made me a "Writing Box": a sturdy box with a handcrafted lid, filled with pens, notebooks, (my personal favorites!) steno notepads, and peppermint gum ("Because peppermint sparks creativity," she told me). It's one of the most thoughtful and meaningful gifts I have ever received.

circa 2010

Laurie is hilarious. I'll always remember the nights when we giggled ourselves to sleep in the twin beds up on the Island.

Confession: Laurie doesn't like this picture. But I love it, and I think she's beautiful in it ~~and it's my blog~~... so it made it into the love letter.

Laurie is beautiful. She has always exuded a confidence that I find enviable: pushing forward to make her own path; embracing new ideas and new challenges. She is one of the most welcoming souls I've ever had the pleasure of meeting -- she genuinely cares about every single person she comes in contact with, and that shines through in her words and actions. Recently, I've had the pleasure of watching her heart catch on fire over issues of social justice-- there is no doubt in my mind that this woman is going to change the world someday.

Laurie's senior choir concert, Spring 2007

With her quiet strength and compassion, it came as no surprise to our family when Laurie decided to pursue nursing as a career. For 4 years we laughed with her as she told funny stories from clinicals, sighed with her as she lamented over tough classes and difficult professors, and were appropriately ~~grossed out~~ amazed by the feats of the human body.

On May 6, we proudly watched as she walked across the stage to receive her diploma. And on August 1, she will begin a new chapter of her life, with her first job as a nurse in a Toledo hospital. And while I am sad that she is moving away, more than that I am excited for her. I'm excited to hear all the stories of her first job, first apartment (without a roommate ... although I am strongly recommending that she get a kitty. Heh. I need a fuzzy niece/nephew to spoil ;), and all the adventures that come with being on your own as a young professional.

I am able to embrace my joy and overlook the ache because of what I know to be true: It doesn't matter how far apart we are. We will always be sisters; we will always be friends. She will always be the girl I shared my childhood with. She will always be the woman I admire. She will always be the one who knows my secret hopes & dreams, as well as embarrassing stories about me that I'd rather she forget... She will always be the one who was standing beside me as I experienced the most intense happiness (getting married) and the most crushing loss (my grandpa) in my life. I know she'll always be there for me, whether she's 2 hours away, 2 towns away, or two doors down.

Sisterhood is a sacred, unbreakable bond.

Of all the things my parents have given me, I am most thankful that they gave me a little sister. My life is so much richer with her in it.

My wedding day, September 2009

Happy birthday, Laurie. Here's to all the beautiful mysteries the future holds.
(July 14, 2011)

Good List Fridays

2011-07-22T12:30:00.004-04:00

(Listening to vocal tracks at Lifeway on Monday night. ...The only picture I took all week :)

To say that this week has been exhausting may be an understatement.

... In fact, it may be the understatement of the century. I think even
my diaphragm is tired, as I've had the hiccups for the past 10 minutes
;)

Between Jon's new job (which has him "on call" 24/7 for the first
several weeks, marathon training and the heat (which has been
ridiiiiiculous....), it's safe to say that I am completely wiped out.
... but nothing 10 straight hours of sleep can't fix, I'm sure ;)

Anyhoo... I have a couple of "Love Letters" posts in the pipeline,
that I'm really hoping I can get out to you this weekend. I miss the
blog, and my sweet friends... I miss hunkering down with my keyboard
and getting lost in my own thoughts... I haven't been short of
inspiration, just short of energy & time.

So, for the time being, please accept my apologies for being such a
sporadic blogger these past few weeks. I'm finding that (at least for
me, and at least for now), time management seems to be a very fluid
concept: it's as soon as I get some of my (proverbial) balls in the
air that I realize I am tripping over 2 or 3 that have fallen,
unnoticed, to the floor.

... Nevertheless, life is sweet, and there is a lot of good to be
recognized :) I will continue to practice my juggling skills in the
hopes that someday I can gracefully & effortlessly keep all the joy,
work, obligations & pleasures afloat... but in the meantime I will
celebrate the everyday. Even when it's not perfect & I'm not
"all together".

And this is the concept behind a new series I'd like to start: "Good
List Fridays". I haven't been posting my "Good Lists" as often as I
used to, and this fact does not escape me. Therefore, I am hereby
instituting "Good List Fridays" here on Amy Around the Corner. Care to
join me?

The inaugural list:

Good List:

1. Jon. This may sound crazy, but I love that I miss him on busy
weeks. I definitely wish that we could spend more time together, but I
am awed & excited to find that when we don't get to spend a lot of
time together I crave his presence... his steadfastness... his
reasoning & his kindness... even after all these years :) I think
that's how true love should be.
2. Girlfriends. I spent this past weekend with Jenny, and had a lovely
dinner with Kaitie on Monday... and if that wasn't good enough, I
talked with bff Saundra for an hour on Tuesday night. ... And then
there are my running girls. I find that I am surrounded by strong,
compassionate, inspiring women. What a blessing.
3. Coffeeeeeee.
4. My little sister got a job!!! I'm so excited for her!
5. Watching Jon snuggle babies. Ladies, is there anything sweeter than
watching your man love on little ones?... It makes my ovaries hurt, in
a good way :) (We got some Lucas-snuggling time in the weekend, at our
nephew's 2nd birthday party. Lucas, at 6 mos, is at that deliciously
round & huggable stage in his babyhood... I just can't get enough!)
6. Baron has been super "talkative" this week, which is absolutely
~~hilarious~~ delightful (#catlady)
7. Our new vacuum cleaner. I'm still absolutely enamored.
8. Popsicles
9. The scent of a charcoal fire.... yummm...
10.

“Do the things you used to talk about doing but never did. Know
when to let go and when to hold on tight. Stop rushing. Don't be
intimidated to say it like it is. Stop apologizing all the time. Learn
to say no, so your yes has some oomph. Spend time with the friends who
lift you up, and cut loose the ones who bring you down. Stop giving
your power away. Be more concerned with being interested than being
interesting. Be old enough to appreciate your freedom, and young
enough to enjoy it. Finally know who you are. ”
- Kristin Armstrong

Your Turn: What tops your list of good things this week?

Happy Friday, friends!

I believe (part IV)

2011-07-08T11:45:00.002-04:00

via

I believe ...

I believe in iced tea.

I believe in flip-flops.

I believe in the stunning power of a sudden afternoon thunderstorm.

I believe in the sweet, coconutty scent of sunscreen.

I believe in corn on the cob.

... and melty ice cream cones that you can't quite keep up with.

I believe in late nights, spent lying awake, talking, relishing the sweet coolness of the cotton sheets.

I believe in late night laughter.

I believe in BBQs with good friends and plenty of beer.

I believe I will never be too old to run through the sprinkler.

I believe in rolling down the windows and cranking up the classic rock.

I believe in fireworks.

I believe in summer.

Wrangling:{Fog-Lifter}

2011-07-05T19:15:00.000-04:00

(Clearly, Gracie has spent the past few weeks catching up on her classics...)

June caught me by surprise this year.

I am always prepared (if cautiously apprehensive) going into May, because May has always been a crazy-busy-good month for our family. Birthdays, Mother's Day, Memorial Day, Prom, Graduations ... May is a whirlwind that leaves us, on June 1 sitting with our feet up and smiling at the wild ride of life we've just been a part of. May is good like that, and the June that follows is typically a welcome respite.

This year, though, the ride hasn't stopped yet. I think God is looking down and smiling on my tenderly, "My child how little you know... and how deeply I love you."

I was certain that this year would be a year of settling in for us. A year of homemaking and quietly undeniable growth; a year for nurturing and putting down roots.

Instead, we've been blessed with opportunities. Opportunities for growth-- upward movement, for sure, but perhaps more importantly growing into ourselves. ...Maybe I could even say "settling" a little deeper and becoming a bit more comfortable with who we have always been.

All good. But tiring :)

I guess all this is to say: I feel like I've been walking around in a bit of a fog since the last time I posted. Scootching along from A to B, & making time... but I feel that my responses have been muted in both intensity and response time. And I celebrate this, because I know it's just a phase, and that I will adapt to become present and cognizant once again. ... You know, fog can be stunningly beautiful; softening & blurring sharp edges with a water color precision ... but we still celebrate the sharp visual clarity that comes as the sun burns through.

I can feel the fog lifting all ready.

A few standout thoughts from the fog:

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

On marathon training with MiT:

I'll just get right out there and say it: I love this.

I am continually blown away by the kindness of my running group, as well as my own drive to keep at it. A happy discovery was made on our June 18 group run-- I live in the same neighborhood as our pace leader, and within a 5 minute drive of another woman from our group. We've been meeting up on Monday & Tuesday mornings at 5:30 am (which is NOT easy yet, but I'm going to keep trying!) to do our runs together. This morning we added Stacey to our group, so now we are a lovely little group of 4.

Most heartwarming & impressive to me: 2 weekends ago I ran my long run (8 miles) on Friday, because I knew I couldn't get in a long run before all the wedding festivities. Dana & Heather each ran 3+ miles with me, so I didn't have to do the whole thing alone.

How did I get so lucky?! I can officially say that I am head-over-heels in love with running again.

...Who knew that all it would take was signing up for a marathon?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

*beer margaritas*

Okay, so the real reason I've been afk for over two weeks? My best friend's wedding. ...And the month of crazy fun & stress leading up to it :) (Absolutely weighted more heavily on the "fun" side ... but if anyone ever tells you that a wedding is completely stress-free, they are delusional. Simple as that.) Anyhoo...

On June 18, my partner-in-crime Kaitie & I hosted Saun's bachelorette party. We planned meticulously. Menu? (Beer margaritas, hot dogs on the grill, pasta salad, chips & funfetti cupcakes) -- check! Decorations? --check!

giggling our way through pictionary ;)

Lessons learned along the way included: running to your sister-in-law's house to get cookie cutters & fulfill MiT milage at the same time sounds like a great idea ... until you have to run 1.5 miles clutching said cookie cutters and hoping nobody actually sees what your holding & calls the cops on the "creepy running girl". Lesson Learned: plastic bags are not nearly opaque enough for comfort. Also note: when you light the grill, just step away. Do not close it or the fire will go out. *Eh hem* True story. (Insert obligatory engineer joke here. Sigh.)

Kaitie, Saundra & me

But it was all so, SO worth it. It's a night I'll never forget, and I hope Saundra feels the same. We drank out of "man-shaped" straws and ate naughty-shaped brownies. We played pictionary & laughed until we had tears streaming down our faces. We dressed up & went out dancing, and didn't get home until 3am.

All the ladies

In short, a good time was had by all.

(Thanks, Kaitie, for the pictures!)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

...And then two Saturdays ago, we gathered once again, this time to celebrate the union of Saundra and her beloved, Mike.

Just married!

It was a beautiful day, down to the tiniest details.

mimosas at the hair salon (doesn't that seem so movie chic?!)

More wedding thoughts and reflections coming your way this week, in a new 'Love Letters' post.

We clean up nicely, eh? (Amy & Jon, 6/25/11)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This weekend's joyful chaos centered around 4th of July celebrations, with family & friends alike. We laughed and cheered and oohed and ahhed over breathtaking fireworks displays; and there were also moments of quiet meditation and thanks for the men and women who have fought and continue to fight so hard for us.

Jon & I hosted the family celebration this year (is there anything cuter than chubby babies in red & white stripes? I think not.), and so a majority of our weekend was spent preparing the house & yard for our guests. There were multiple moments when I caught myself standing back and watching Jon, thinking, "I may never love this man more than when we are working side-by-side." I think it's a perfect symbol of what marriage is all about. Even as we sweated ~~and swore under our breath~~, it felt good to have a companion.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And so there you have it: a little summary of where I've been & what I've been up to. July is looking busy but significantly more manageable for me (knock on wood), so I plan on being around quite a bit more. (As I mentioned above, stay alert for a "Love Letters" post later in the week!)

Your turn: Was your June a busy one? What have you been up to? How did you spend your 4th of July?

Wrangling:{Here Comes the Sun}

2011-06-10T21:10:00.005-04:00

Happy ~~Friday~~ Weekend, friends! I've got so much to tell you about this week -- let the wrangling begin!

(A weekly round up. Each week I am going to “wrangle” my life's happenings into a post filled with pictures, lists & general tidbits about the past 7 days.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

First things first: JON IS HOME!

My husband spent his week in Las Vegas ~~living it up~~ attending a “Developer’s conference” at Caeser’s Palace. (I know... tough break, huh?)

And while there were some *nice* things about playing bachelorette for the week (sleeping in the middle of the bed, watching ‘Gilmore Girls’ marathons & cooking meat-less meals).... and I did enjoy the pictures he sent me:

...well, quite frankly, Jon & I belong together, and it felt like half my heart was across the country this week, too. It’s the first time he’s been the one who was gone, and I missed him like crazy.

Now that he’s home, everything just feels right again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Now, to play a little catch-up:
I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you about our Memorial Day weekend. I always enjoy our family’s Memorial Day celebration, because it involves a huge spread a delicious summery (picnic-y!) foods and lots of outside time. But this year was an especially good time.

This year, we got the BEST SURPRISE EVER, when April drove down from Wisconsin for the long weekend, with sweet baby Aurora (6 weeks) in tow. What a treat! (I had resigned myself to the fact that I would have to make-do with pictures until Thanksgiving or Christmas...)

Aren't they beautiful?

True to form, Christy coordinated a little celebration for her girls. It was a wonderful, love filled family celebration.

Welcome to the family, Aurora!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(A few thoughts from the week straight from my heart, uncensored, but hopefully spell-checked:)

It hit me suddenly, and I wasn't prepared for it. I was washing dishes the other night, alternately daydreaming as I looked out the window and talking to the cats, who were "mrrowww-ing" and winding around my ankles (we keep the kitty treats in the cabinet under the kitchen sink.)

... Minding my own business, really.

And it snuck up on me, surprised me, and left me utterly breathless: all of a sudden, I caught myself thinking, "I am really, really happy right now."

For the rest of this week, as I think back on that moment of clarity, I immediately want to discount it. I mean, really? I've spent at least half a year now focusing in on the good, searching and polishing and celebrating each shining moment of each day-- highlighting the little things that make all the difference in my good lists. It seems incredible that one might be stunned with the realization of joy.

But there it is.

If I am completely honest with you & myself, I must admit that I’ve been working really hard to be happy lately. There have been one or two lingering desires on my heart that just haven’t given me peace. For the most part, I’ve been able to trick the ache into hiding because I recognize how I’ve been blessed. But when I allowed myself to be quiet and really listen to my heart I found that in fact I hadn’t gotten past it at all—which frustrated me and added insult to injury. There have been a lot of long, lonely nights over the past few months.

Now, I’m not saying that I’m completely over it. If I was perfect, I would have put this behind me a loooooong (got it? Hehe.) time ago. But I’m not... and it’s still a part of me, no matter how hard I try. For example: along with all the good, this past week also brought some news that felt like a punch in the gut. I felt sorry for myself for a few hours, and then pulled up my big-girl panties, forgave myself for my moments of selfishness, and moved forward.

But now somehow, in the grand scheme of things, it just doesn’t seem so important anymore. Someday, when these yearnings and dreams of my heart become a reality I will rejoice and feel doubly blessed, because I’ll know how long I waited. But for now? Well, now is pretty damn good, too.

And you know what’s even better? ... After months of reminding myself to look for good stuff and live it the moment ... I’m there. I am happy. ...And I want to shout it from the rooftops.

And I’m not going to apologize for being a little more hearts-and-flowery in the weeks to come. This is a sweet season in my life and I’m going to ride it out with gusto.... “sucking the marrow out of life”, as one of my favorite bloggers Kelle Hampton likes to say.

Amen.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

via

Marathon Update

It’s been several weeks now since I proclaimed to the ~~blog~~ world that I was actually going to do it this year. ... I am actually going to run a marathon. I think it’s time for me to give you an update!

About a week after signing up, I made another pivotal and life changing move: I joined Marathoners in Training (MiT). MiT is a central Ohio based group dedicated to training, encouraging and preparing runners for their first marathon (& half marathon!) I had known of the group's existence for some time, but it took my friend Amy to give me the push to do it.

...And I’m SO glad I did.

Last Saturday morning was my first training run with the group. We gathered at a track behind a local high school, and then divided into pace groups for our runs. I had been more than a little nervous when I received my weekly training plan and saw that I had 7 miles penciled in for Saturday, but I tried to be brave, and told myself that if I couldn’t go the whole 7 I could either cut it short, or walk. Each step I take is a step toward my goal.

Friends? Someone was looking out for me that day (...and when I say “Someone”, all eyes are on you, God ;)... I ended up in the perfect group for me (a run/walk group! Seriously, how perfect?!)... and I completed the 7 miles no problem*. The people in my group were incredible—they really cared for me: checking in periodically to make sure I was doing okay, and asking me all about my life. Having been a solo runner for quite some time now, it blew me away ... I say with 100% certainty that having the wonderful group I do made all the difference for me achieving full mileage.

I feel so good about this... I’m so confident & happy! ...And I’m definitely excited for our next run, tomorrow morning :)

*Now, I’m not superwoman. I was hurting badly in the last mile. Heck, my hamstrings were sore for the next couple days... But I was so happy I could have cried... and I haven’t felt that good about myself in a long time :)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Finally, a little list to round out the post:

Good List

1. Jon ♥
2. I have been humbled and overwhelmed by the hospitality others have shown me while my husband was out of town for the week. I hardly ate dinner alone! Thank you so much everyone. I felt so loved.
3. We got a new vacuum cleaner this week!!!!!! (Very needed, as evidenced by the exclamation points.) It’s a lovely, lovely tool. (Mama loves the vacuum, kitties love the box it came in, hehe.)
4. Retail Therapy ;)

5. (To go along with item 2) Jon’s family invited me over dinner & mudslides on Wednesday night. For those who are not familiar, a mudslide = coffee +milkshake +chocolate. In other words, perfection.
6. ...And the Wednesday night “Lucas Snuggling” was pretty much perfection, as well.
7. Carpet cleaner. (Don’t ask.)
8. Fresh fruit. Hellooo, summer!
9. Hope.
10.“Running improves my relationships with my family, my friends, everyone around me. And while my running is personal, it’s also something I give. Running can be given. –Tony Sandoval, M.D.

Your Turn!
How has your week been? Any good weekend plans?

Stories Behind the Posts ....

2011-06-09T19:05:00.000-04:00

I really need to learn html (Stupid Meta tags...)
Honest to goodness, I think the quickest I've ever gotten a blog post up is in an hour. Since I reevaluated my goals and direction in January, it's taken even longer. I always have to tweak one more thing, spell check one more time, etc.
Sometimes the primary reason why it takes me hours to publish a post is because Gracie is sitting on my keyboard. She can be very persistent.
The other night I typed up this great, positive, bouncy, Amy-like post. Then I had the audacity to try and upload the final picture (Gracie). ...And somehow, I lost everything in my post before the P.S. You did not want to hear the words coming out of my mouth.
Comments make my day. Comments are better than dark chocolate, and red wine, and maybe even both together. If you comment, I will respond. I promise ;)
Inevitably, as I am going about my day, I come up with ideas for the blog. Also inevitably, I am somewhere doing something that I can't write the ideas down, and *sigh* probably a majority of these 'fleeting brilliances' don't make it to the blog. It actually makes me pretty sad. If only I had a better memory....
I take about 5 pictures for every picture that makes it to the blog. I delete a lot of duds.
It is ridiculously hard to take a self portrait with a cat in your lap.
...It's ridiculously hard to take pictures with cats-- period...
It is a miracle that I have not spilled wine on my keyboard yet. (Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go knock on my wooden buffet cabinet.)
I struggle an awful lot with what to say, and what to keep to myself.
I love the way blogging makes me see everyday events in a different light.
Jon loves that blogging has turned me into a nerd ;) Hehe. You've still got me beat by a looong shot, honey!
I have published 131 posts. I have 169 posts in my directory. This means I have about 38 posts in my "Post Graveyard".... That's kind of a lot.

Any blogging confessions?

Hidden Lakes Winery

2011-06-03T13:00:00.014-04:00

Happy Friday, friends! I know I've been promising this post for a while now, and what better time to deliver than on a Friday afternoon! Can you think of a better kick off to your weekend than a glass of wine?

...Me neither ;)

Several Sundays ago, spurred on by the impending expiration date on a groupon, Jon & I ventured out to Hidden Lakes Winery for a wine tasting for two. Hidden Lakes is a lovely little winery located in Canal Winchester, which is about half an hour from our house -- perfect for a sunny afternoon drive!

To our delight, when we arrived we found a quaint little winery located (not surprisingly) on a beautiful lake. The winery was pleasantly filled with people, but not too crowded, and there was live music in the gazebo. Jon & I grabbed a table outside; soaking up the gorgeous weather from the comfort of a shaded patio.

And then we got down to business:

Cheese tasting plate (muenster, gouda & havarti; salami and crackers)

::NOM, NOM::

Our two person tasting included 10 1-ounce wine tastes each (!), and we each received a list to mark our desired tastes and comments.

Now, I'm pretty sure you know this all ready, but, as much as I love wine, I am not a wine snob. Not in the slightest. I know what I like, and I know what I don't like ... but it doesn't go much farther than that :) I had such a good time playing sommelier... taking my time and savoring each dainty sip (you sip quite daintily when you only have a 1 oz pour!), trying to pick out all the different notes and mouth feels of each individual wine.

You know I have a penchant for reds, and my favorite Hidden Lakes wines were the Pinot Noir (a very earthy, soft, distinct taste-- probably the most memorable dry red I've ever had. In totally unsophisticated terms,' this wine was everything I would want a red wine to be.') and the Road House Red ("drinkable" was the first word that came to my mind. Absolutely delicious. My notes read: "grape juice with a bite" ... Jon & I totally blew through a bottle of this goodness last Saturday evening, and I got my mother a bottle for her birthday!)

Jon has always fallen more on the sweet end of the wine spectrum, and he had a wonderful time sampling, as well. His favorite wine was called Early Frost, a light, sweet, cidery blend. We definitely bought a bottle of this, too!

All together, it was a wonderful experience -- a perfect date! It was so wonderful to sit outside and relax with my husband, sipping wine & chatting as we overlooked the lake. It made me (if this is possible!) even more excited for our trip to Sonoma in September.

Definitely 'love at first sip'....

Home.

2011-05-27T15:00:00.001-04:00

May, 1986

"Love Letters": a series of love letters to the people in my life who have made a big difference in my world, published on their birthdays.

For my mother.

Today is my mother's birthday.

Last night I began the ritual of “love letter writing”: I luxuriated in flipping through old photo albums, my brain carefully compartmentalizing memories, archiving favorite images and trying to piece together in my mind the stories I would tell. Even as my mind raced 100 mph (even as I way lying in bed and sleep eluded me… a 100 mph mind can do that, you know), I was loving it…Loving the process…

1986

I've known since the inception of "Love Letters" that this would be a letter I would labor over—one that would take a long time to write, but I've really been looking forward to it, as well. Still, my mother has been perhaps the biggest influence in my life, and when I remember that, I am (quite frankly) intimidated. How can I ever write something that fully conveys what she means to me? I take comfort in the fact that while my words might fail, my love will not.

... She taught me that.

May, 1989

My mother was the first woman I ever thought was beautiful. She was my role-model, and I wanted to be just like her when I grew up. Even though I didn’t fully grasp it when I was small, she embodied for me everything I aspired to be: strength & individuality, compassion & grace. My mother was and is creative… absolutely fantastic with children. Some of my favorite childhood memories include teddy bear picnics and teddy bear weddings ... we had such a good time together! She was patient & quick to rejoice in small triumphs, and she is a wonderful listener. She always made it so easy and enjoyable to share life (& secrets!) with her.

My mother tread the fine line between mother & friend with an ease and grace that I hope I can emulate some day. Starting in high school, I began to be conscious of the way to could talk to her like an equal, and even today, I consider her one of my best friends. Nobody knows me like my mother does (for better or worse ;) ... When I think of the word "mother" my heart immediately thinks of home, and the profound comfort found there. ...And I know this is because of her. She made our house a home.

Girl Scout Mother / Daughter Gala, circa 1993

I think that above and beyond everything else, my mother gave me the courage & strength to love. And I am so grateful. Specifically, she taught me how to embrace who I was, and she helped me to build a strong foundation of self respect.

My mother is an incredible woman. She is my best example of chasing your dreams and going where your heart leads you. She has multiple degrees: a BA in History, and Master's degrees in Library Science and Communication. She has traveled all over the country (CO, CA, FL, VA, PA, IL, NY, MA ....and more, I know!) She has traveled the world (::at least to:: England, Germany & Jamaica with my father for their honeymoon). She met my father, the great love of her life, in 1975, and they were married in 1978. Together they participated in TOSRV, bicycling over 100 miles together!

She has a passion for life that is readily apparent to anyone who meets her, and a never-ending desire to learn. She has taught me, by the way she lives, to take risks, travel often, get outside daily, and live life on your own time-table. Because of her, I heave learned to hold my head high, and take pride in the life that I am making for myself, every day.

Light the Night Walk, October 2005

We are really two of a kind, she & I .... and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am honored to be my mother's daughter. We share curly hair, a passion for reading & libraries, and a (perhaps too) healthy love for wheat thins. We both have a need for quiet devotion time at the beginning of each day. We both love long, summer evening walks and huge bowls of chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream. We love snuggling kitties and word-find puzzles & we both drink our coffee black. ♥

September 2009

She has showed me, by example, how to be a wife. How to provide for spiritual needs as well as tangible needs (like cooking & cleaning!) How, when you give 110% of your heart to your family you never feel empty. How to live in harmony & partnership with your husband, and to be respectful even when times get rough. My parents love is my example, and as I continue to learn & grow, the more I understand and appreciate this.

Happy birthday, Mommy. I love you.

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. ~Marion C. Garretty

Wrangling:{Promises}

2011-05-26T12:18:00.001-04:00

(A weekly round up. Each week I am going to “wrangle” my life's happenings into a post filled with pictures, lists & general tidbits about the past 7 days.)

Hi, friends-- Happy Thursday!

I feel like I haven't had the chance to sit down & write in a really long time... which isn't particularly true, but I haven't "wrangled" in some time, and the life that I want to share with you has been piling up in my memory bank. This morning I sift through the piles of memories and bring you only the best :)

Unexpectedly, it's been a really busy month at work for me, and I feel like I am have been scrambling every evening to piece together all the necessary life pieces of the the work-life puzzle. It's been chaotic, to say the least, but it's been so good. There have been more than enough moments filled with laughter, long hugs, and staggering moments of realizing the beauty around me to balance out the fatigue & frustration.

Here's a peek into the past couple weeks in my world (this is gonna be a long one, so grab a cup of coffee & settle in!):

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

First of all, I want to say thank you for all your supportive comments on my marathon reveal post. I'm so excited. I'm so nervous. I have no doubt that this is going to be a life changing experience for me.

I'm still working on developing a training plan (thanks, Heidi for the hints!), but in the meantime, I've challenged myself to a 30-day (hopefully) habit forming challenge -- The SWSU Challenge, to be exact. To find out more, click on the challenge tab... or just click here.

But first, because she's so cute, a picture of my little workout buddy:

(As soon as I put down the camera she stood up, moved completely onto the mat, and executed a perfect downward facing dog. No big deal... Cats are amazing...)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After what felt like 2 months of steady rain, this week has provided a welcome break. We've had rain, yes, but lots of sunshine interspersed throughout. I'm soaking up every drop of sunshine I can. ... And carrying my umbrella religiously.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Gracie helping me set up my bedroom furniture. Clearly. She's sitting in the dresser.)

Going back in time a bit: I spent my birthday weekend moving. Oof.

I've had it on my Amy-Do list for quite some time now to move my childhood bedroom furniture over to our new house (you know, for about a year, now!) A mindset that I am rather proud of, although it has the tendency to overwhelm me more often than not is, "I need to do this now, because I know if I don't, I'll keep pushing it back & pushing it back. Why wait?" So it was, I found myself the day before my birthday, sorting through piles of ~~dust~~ treasures in my room.

And, while I grumbled multiple times to my father that I was going to have to type up a post titled, "Confessions of a former pack rat", over all, it was a very cool experience. I did throw out bags of trash. ... Multiple bags of trash (seriously, Amy?! why did you ever think it was a good idea to save "Pick & Save" receipts from your time in Neenah? And you first ever utility bill stubs? Not exactly of sentimental value...) But I found boxes (relax Jon... shoe boxes) of treasures. I found the encouraging note my mother wrote to me when I got braces in middle school, and was certain that it was going to be the end of me. I found the scrap of paper Jon gave me his phone number on... all those years ago before we had the slightest idea that we would be WE until death do us part. I found little "love notes" that Saundra used to leave taped to my computer screen when we lived together our sophomore year of college. I found letters from my grandpa, written in his signature blue sloping script; envelopes tucked with newspaper comics he had cut out for me. Treasure.

Needless to say, it was an exhausting (emotionally & physically) weekend for me. But it was one of those where I can look back and say I was really present in every moment. ...And, silly as it sounds, years from now, I know this is how I'll remember my 25th birthday.

My mother's comment was, "Gosh, Amy - your 'big birthdays' have been spent cleaning ..." And she's right: my 21st birthday was spent sneezing in my grandpa's attic. My 25th birthday was spent (sneezing) in my childhood bedroom (closet). ... Let's see where 30 finds me. I'm hoping I'll be cleaning for a baby... or a puppy... or, you know... cleaning our new vacation home in Hawaii ;)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Last Thursday I had an exceptionally wonderful lunch break.

...While I realize it's not environmentally friendly (uh, or wallet friendly, with the soaring gas prices...), I have been coming home for lunch lately ... it's good for my soul. On Thursday, in addition to some always-appreciated Gracie-snuggles, I had a package waiting for me on my front porch. I opened it to find this lovely & thoughtful gift from Jenny:

Does this girl know me or what? This week I am so thankful for good friends.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

If you follow me on twitter (this means you, Hannah!), you all ready know that I spent this Tuesday traveling for work. The trip ended up being a lot longer than we had anticipated (ie: left the office at 8am, arrived back at the office at 7pm. Woah.) But we got to travel through Hocking Hills (Logan County, OH)... which, in my opinion, is some of the most beautiful country ever. The landscape (rolling hills, fields of flowers) feeds my soul. Since I wasn't driving, here are some pictures from the trip (the barn at the top of the post is from Logan County, too!):

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I was going to say that this text required no explanation -- it just made me laugh ... but then I thought maybe it deserved a little background. So here you go: I have no idea why, but for some reason, several months ago I started receiving the magazine "Working Mother" (perhaps somewhere I indicated an interest in "work-life balance" issues? ...Not a clue.) Anyway to take things a step to the more awkward, not only am I receiving this magazine at a time when motherhood is still a few years away... BUT! ... the magazine is coming to my name at my parents' house. ...Needless to say, this has inspired some interesting conversations!

...And for the record, "grand kitties" would only occur due to divine intervention ;)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And with that, I think I'm about typed out, and I want to hear from you!

What is the best road-trip location near you?

Tell me about one of your favorite unexpected birthday surprises!

Stay tuned for:

A special "love letters" post, coming tomorrow.
A date recap (spoiler: WINERY!) coming at you this weekend.

25: A love letter of sorts ...

2011-05-24T01:05:00.025-04:00

via

This post has been in the works for almost 2 weeks now. ...But tonight, inspired by this beautiful post from a beautiful friend, I write:

Dear Me,

At the moment this post is published, I am 25 years, one week, and 3 days old, exactly. A belated 'Happy Birthday'! ... Welcome to the 2nd quarter century of life!

And what a journey it's been <3 This past year was a good one for me: a year of settling in, adapting, growing... thriving. The growth was not without some 'growing pains', of course, but I'm beginning to learn that the best lessons are hard won; and that sometimes in order to be happy you need to work hard for it... and that's okay.

I'm beginning to learn who I am and what makes me happy -- what I might be good at. I'm beginning to grow into myself and really get comfortable in my own skin. This year I have discovered vibrant passions for writing, running, cooking & (gasp!) yard work. I am learning how to speak my mind when my heart leads me. I am learning how to be a wife.

I'm learning, more than ever, that the only opinion I should really take to heart is my own. I'm learning that when something feels wrong, it's probably because it is. ... Life is too short to settle, and if I'm unhappy, perhaps it's time to move on. I'm learning that, while I pride myself on being a good listener, my kindred spirits are those that let me speak my mind.

I'm learning that tears can be a good thing. That real butter makes all the difference, and that 3 glasses of wine once in a while never hurt anyone. I'm learning that girl friends are absolutely invaluable, and that I'd rather spend a Friday night in snuggling with my husband than 'out on the town'. I'm learning that a little elbow grease can burn through a bad mood, and that a long lunchtime walk in the sunshine can cast a positive light on the rest of the workday.

I'm learning that sometimes the hardest step is the first one; that if you allow room for doubt, it will slip in... and that, if you are not vigilant, doubt can take you down before you realize it.

I am learning how to, for the first time, truly take responsibility for my happiness and future. Life is lovely if you passively sit back and give thanks, but it can be heady & intoxicating & vibrant if you move forward with purpose. I'm learning that I really can do just about anything I set my mind to, and that sometimes, the best laid plans are those that you do not lay for yourself... but those that you get laid into.

This last year has been absolutely pivotal.

Tonight, as I sit quietly with Gracie (who is snoozing across the room) glass of wine in hand, I allow myself to take a step back and really take stock of my life. I meditate on this question: Am I where I thought I would be at 25? When I was 20, did I ever dream I would be *here*?

And I find, first of all, that this is a harder question than I would have imagined. I mean, first of all, I need to remember where I was 5 years ago. (Which sounds ridiculous, but I lived a lot of different places when I was in college --engineering co-ops took me to 4 different states!)

When I turned 20, I had just started my first co-op, and was living on my own, for the first time, in Romulus, MI. I had just finished up my sophomore year of college, and Jon and I had just renewed our dating relationship after an almost 6 month hiatus. I was in a good place. A place ripe with promise.

I have great memories from all my co-ops, but my MI co-op holds a special place in my heart because it was my first. It was my first time being on my own, and that was life changing for me. I had always suspected that I'd do fine on my own, and I did. I loved it. Of course, living by myself wasn't always awesome. I remember one especially poignant moment, sitting in the bathtub at 8 pm on the 4th of July, drinking a wine cooler & feeling sorry for myself. ... But I'm pretty sure even that was good for me :)

When I look back on that summer, I remember running through downtown Romulus, evening trips to the library & curling up in bed every night and working my way through The Chronicles of Narnia. I remember carefully packing lunch every evening (bagel sandwich: light mayonnaise, turkey, cheddar cheese) and watching movies on my 10" tv screen. I remember eating a lot of frozen vegetables that summer :) When I look back, I am overwhelmed by the sense of confidence & comfort. Perhaps this is what nostalgia is, that vague longing and sense of, "oh yeah, that felt right." ...

Back to the point (I blame my ~~2nd~~ glass of wine): I think that when I was 20, I never would have dreamed that I would be as settled as I am now. I'm pretty sure that if my 20 year old self met my 25 year old self, she would pat *me* on the head and say, "Aww. It's all right. You're doing fine."

...

And I would wrap my arms around my 20 year old self and hold on just a little longer than she felt comfortable with, whispering, "It's more than all right. It's perfect. You're perfect."

I feel in my bones that this next year is going to be a year of movement for me. I've all ready taken a big step... and each second I am one breath closer to making promises a reality. And there's something else big (for me) on the horizon, too. Something I've been to scared to change in the past, but now I'm too convicted not to move. It's time to take some big chances. ... I deserve it.

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world."
~Harriet Tubman

Hang in there, Amy. Keep believing and dreaming. There is so much good to come this year ... I can just feel it.

Love, Me

(*I'm sorry for the "vague-ry" ... right now I'm writing dreamy reveal posts that I hope to make a reality sometime soon. So excited to share with you as soon as I'm able!)

Keeping promises to myself ...

2011-05-19T09:49:00.003-04:00

I finally pressed the buttons:

Crazy nervous & excited right now. ...Definitely regretting my 2nd cup of coffee :)

...More soon!

Wrangling: {Writing my story}

2011-05-11T21:09:00.045-04:00

NOTE: You are not seeing things. I posted this last Wednesday... but blogger deleted it, and I got discouraged... so I'm just now getting around to re-posting :) ...But it's a good one! Enjoy!

(A weekly round up. Each week I am going to “wrangle” my life's happenings into a post filled with pictures, lists & general tidbits about the past 7 days.)

What a glorious 2 weeks it has been :) Mays are always chock-full of good stuff for our family, leaving us, on June 1, exhausted but filled joy; reminiscing on the beautiful memories we were privileged to be a part of.We're in the midst of a mid-week lull, right about at the point where we are able to take a step back from the beautiful chaos and realize how tired we actually are. But even in the midst of the rush, the stress, the giving 100% and then giving 100% above & beyond... we are writing our stories. The memories that we are going to look back on in 60 years and sigh, "Oh, those were the sweet days..."

Some sweetness:

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Last Friday my heart swelled to 3x its normal size with pride. My baby sister Laurie graduated from Nursing School.

I had been excited for the 'big day' all week, but the emotions didn't really hit me until I was seated in the arena surrounded by my relatives, and 'Pomp & Circumstance' started playing. I turned to Jon with a lump in my throat & whispered, "I can't believe she's graduating all ready." It's the end of an era for sure. Now there is absolutely no pretending & no looking back. We're adults now. It's the end of an era.

But it's only the beginning of so much good that is to come.

Friday was such a blessing for me, not only to be able to witness Laurie taking a huge step in her life; but also to celebrate with my relatives. We're a pretty spread out bunch (OH, VA, NY), so we don't get to see each other nearly as much as we would like. It was a wonderful day (Heidi, we missed you bunches ... you were in our thoughts & hearts!)

Laurie & her boyfriend, Nick. Seriously, how cute are they?!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was also fun on Friday to return to the college campus where I spent 4.5 years of my life. I took pictures with shameless abandon, as I am no longer a student there and am allowed to "play tourist".

Here are some highlights:

Towers Hall

tour group

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

About 2x a year, a couple from my work brings in and slices a whole pineapple for us to enjoy. Heaven is taking a huge bite of fresh pineapple & having the sweet juice run down your chin. YUM does not even begin to describe it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It's been kind of a busy & stressful ~~week couple weeks~~ month for me at work, and I find myself returning, time and again, to the solace of my kitchen. Seriously, chopping & peeling does wonders for the soul at the end of a long day.

Tonight's labor of love: Veggie tacos (a la Jenna, of Eat, Live, Run)!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I am also very thankful this week for my early morning devotion time.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This may be the happiest corner of my kitchen: it houses the coffee pot (my lifeblood, heh) and pictures of these sweet babies. I cannot resist smiling when I am standing here.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Do you see what I see?! Yesterday the sunny temperatures exceeded what was predicted! Way to overachieve, Ohio! Weather gods, I humbly thank you for hearing my plea...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

On Sunday, we celebrated our mothers.

Mommy & Amy, circa 1992

A special moment with my mother on my wedding day.

To my mother, who gave me curly hair, a profound love of reading, a firm foundation of love and taught me the beauty of independence; I thank you. I don't know how I got so lucky to get you, but I am forever grateful that I did.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And on Monday, we celebrated Jon's 27th birthday with Chinese take-out & video games.

Here's to another year of joy, for the man who can always make me laugh.

Jon & Laurie's friend Josh, holding bags while the 'paparazzi' clicked cameras last Friday.

Your Turn: How's your week going? Have you ever had freshly cut pineapple?

The best teacher I've ever had ...

2011-05-09T22:08:00.010-04:00

"Love Letters": a series of love letters to the people in my life who have made a big difference in my world, published on their birthdays.

For my husband.

I met my soulmate when I was 14.

Of course, at the time, I was too busy to realize it. I was too busy trying to survive my first year of high school; alternately trying to blend into the background and to make an imprint on my little world in that awkward and endearing way we all do when we are young.

I was busy sighing over the high school football players, giggling with my friends, dreaming and making plans for my future. I was a prolific list maker even then, and, I admit, I even had (have) a tattered notebook paper list entitled, "The Perfect Guy Will …" I might not have had a boyfriend, but in my mind, I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted ;)

Homecoming, 2002. The night I got my first kiss.

But the beautiful thing is, all the while I was planning things out for myself, Jon was there. He was there and he was everything I wanted, everything I needed, and everything I didn't even know to pray for.

We were good friends for over a year before we took our relationship to the next level. He made me laugh, and I loved the way I could talk to him for hours. I loved to shock & impress him with my (sometimes) dirty sense of humor and love of hard rock music. On a warm August evening, after a walk in the park and several games of bowling, I confessed that I liked him-- my heart pounding, terrified that our friendship would never be the same after that. It was probably one of the scariest moments of my life. And then. I will never forget the way he looked at me then; smiling, "Amy, I know…"

December, 2006

Jon was my first kiss. He was my first boyfriend, the first and great love of my life.

We've known each other for over 10 years now. We've been there for each other through the transition to college (x2), deaths of loved ones, nasty friend break-ups, 21st birthday celebrations, family dramas, living in 3 different states, the planning of a wedding, the living of a marriage, and the purchase of a house.

It hasn't been perfect, but we've been perfect together.

I've always known that being with Jon makes me a better version of myself, but since we've gotten married, I've felt his influence on my life more profoundly. He is my anchor, and I mean that with every fiber of my being. He grounds me when I am feeling flighty and malcontent. When I feel lost & insignificant, his love gives me purpose.

Halloween, 2007

Jon has taught me how to take the "macro approach" to life, to let go of the little things that serve no purpose other than to weigh me down. He has helped me to focus in on the relationships in my life, because they are truly what makes life worth living. He has taught me how to be respectful, but independent. He has been an incredible example to me of how to stay true to yourself in a world that sometimes wants to tear you in two: obligation vs. identity.

Engagement pictures, 2008

He has taught me all these things with a quiet, unobtrusive strength. I have learned all these things by simply watching the way he lives his life.

He is, perhaps, the best teacher I've ever had.

In the shelter of his love, I have blossomed.

Even when I live out the rest of my life loving this man, it will not be enough.

"Happy Birthday, Jon.

Thank you for choosing me."

Truth be told ... (part deux)

2011-05-04T21:37:00.005-04:00

Okay, fine. I admit it. I take pictures of myself with photo booth when I get bored. Now that I've got that off my chest, on to the next confession :)

I actually think dandelions are really pretty, perky & cheerful flowers. I'd just prefer that they not grow in my lawn.

I pretty much live in sweats when I'm at home. Style was never really my strong suit.

I'd been having a (I won't say the b-word, but it sure wasn't good) trying week all ready, when I walked into the grocery store on Tuesday evening and totally wiped out. It was epic. Truly. I lost a shoe and dumped my purse contents out in the process, and had to be helped up by a little old lady.

...the worst part of the whole thing was that I really wanted to get a bottle of wine, and after I face-planted I decided that I probably better not. ... I was worried people would think I'd been hitting the bottle all ready.

Although we have our moments, I think Jon & I may be the most UN-romantic people ever. But we laugh a lot. I'm deliciously happy, and wouldn't change a thing.

Wheat Thins are my kryptonite.

I've found that my most creative times of day are 9:30 am and 9:30 pm. This is an awesome thing to know about myself, except that these times are both pretty inconvenient.

When I'm at home by myself, I talk to the cats. I'm pretty sure they think I'm nuts.

I might know the words to every AC/DC song ever.

I consider organizing my email inbox to be a 'house cleaning' of sorts.

At any given time, I have *at least* 3 books on my night stand, with book marks in varying positions. I like to have options.

I sing to myself when I run. (Another reason to run in the early morning!)

Even though I'm an engineer, I cannot draw a straight line (or anything remotely resembling a straight line) without a ruler.

Cheers to you, friends. Happy Wednesday!

Good Things

2011-05-01T21:45:00.000-04:00

"Begin today. Declare outloud to the universe that you are willing to let go of struggle and eager to learn through joy."
~Sarah Ban Breathnach

Happy Sunday, Friends!

It's been such a good weekend for me :) One of those where I felt absolutely present & in love with every moment. I'm loving being home again after spending most of the week across the country; working on homey things and getting things back in order for another week.

Friday evening I brewed up a pot of coffee and stayed up late with Jon as he worked an install. Jon is a software developer and has to work installs (from 11pm-??) periodically. Sometimes I'm able to hang with him, and other times I throw in the towel after about 15 minutes ;) This time, I was able to stay up with him, no problem (blame it on the Denver --> Columbus time change?): he worked, I wrote, and the cats supervised.

Saturday morning we took our time getting up, and spent the majority of the day doing yard work. The weather was absolutely delicious, which made the copious weeding much more bearable. Today was spent worshipping, dreaming, talking to friends & tying up some loose ends in anticipation of the week to come.

To provide you with a full weekend wrap-up, as well as to start the new week on the right foot, I think it's the perfect time for a good list.

Weekend Wrap-Up Good List!

1. Jon. On Saturday, as I was grumbling & sweating in the flower beds, I sat back for a moment to watch my husband working on our lawn. And it occurred to me: 'Here we are, working side-by-side to build our dream home.' All of a sudden, yard work wasn't quite as tedious.
2. Gracie. I really missed my little girl while I was in Colorado. This weekend she's been extra snuggly (heh. and underfoot), which I think means that she missed me, too.
3. Homemaking.
4. Steak on the grill. A perfect treat after a long day of work.

5. Leisurely Sunday brunches.

6. Prompted by the impending expiration date on a groupon, I got my first manicure on Friday. Glorious.
7. Surprises.
8. ^ Okay, I'll spill :) You may remember that I told you Jon & I were planning to go to Las Vegas for this year's vacation. Well, our plans have changed, and couldn't be more excited. Instead of going to "sin city", we're headed out to California: 3 days in Sonoma, and 3 days in San Francisco. Woah… SO excited!
9. Fresh air. We've had our windows open all weekend!
10. "It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy."
~Lucille Ball

Your Turn: How was your weekend? Any exciting adventures coming up for you this week? Do tell!

via

P.S.: My lovely friend Hannah is hosting a giveaway over on her blog, for this gorgeous Emile Henry Pie Dish. Head here to check it out!

Wrangling: {Colorado, part II}

2011-04-29T23:59:00.002-04:00

"And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything."
~William Shakespeare

It's been a long week. A good week, but a long one.

Proportionally, just as it took me a little bit longer to wake up and get going this morning (um: jet lag is no joke, guys. It's midnight and I'm still going strong. Which, you know, shouldn't be a big deal, being a Friday and all. But I'm ~~old~~ a *mature* adult who needs 8+ hours of sleep ...& this is quite abnormal for me.); it has taken me until now to really process things to the point where I can sit down and write about it.

But as I sit here, cradling a cup of coffee and listening to the cats chase each other happily, their paws thudding softly on the wood floor, I realize I am finally there. So I write.

I'm not sure when I first realized this, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I feel closest to God when I am outside. In fact, to take this one step deeper, I believe (also beyond a shadow of a doubt) that I may be the best version of myself when I am outside. Something inside me just settles, opens, clicks into place; breathing, "this is right." ...And there's just something about being up in the mountains, up in the quiet, raw, vastness of creation that makes His presence just that much more undeniable.

For several months now, my dreams have taken me, consistently and continually, to the west. Reds & browns; rich, strong wood and cool turquoise stone; these visual expressions of my soul made it onto the pages of my illustrated dream journal time and time again. Now I know why.

All this time my heart and soul were reaching forward, preparing for revival... renewal... redemption.

It's been a season of unrest for me; a season of frustration and pain, of seeking and coming up lost time & time again. I've spent so much time & energy wondering 'what if?' and searching for answers. I was worn out.

Then this past Wednesday I found myself in the Rocky Mountains.

I found myself profoundly moved as I experienced true beauty. And I found my heart feeling so full that even as words failed me, my soul raised it's arms to the heavens in praise, every fiber of my being reverberating "Thank you."

I found myself feeling treasured, and loved and enough ... even as I was humbled by the grandeur of the landscape surrounding me...awed by the smallness I felt in the midst of it all.

I did not find solutions to the equations that often spin through my brain, keeping me awake & aching into the wee hours of the night. I found something better.

I found peace.

I believe that there is a subtle magnetism in Nature, which, if we unconsciously yield to it, will direct us aright.

~Henry David Thoreau